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female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: My parents always made me go to Mass, even when I was sick. Once, I had strep throat and they had the priest come to our house to talk to me when all I wanted to do was sleep! Their church isnt the modern day Catholic church, they do everything like the pre-vatican II days. I looked forward to escaping that and checking out things like the Unitarian Church or at least a liberal church. My parents are making Mass a requirement, though, if I am to go away to college. I have to have the priest sign the Sunday bulletin, it has to be a Latin Mass, and I have to write a paper on the Homily. That means I can't check out the UU Church because it's at the same time.I also looked forward to actually sleeping in esp. on weekend and I tried to register for noon or later classes, but my mom used my information and registered FOR me. All 7:30, 8:00 classes! She and Dad also said ABSOLUTELY not yoga, psychology, or philosophy classes. Im not allowed to work so I'm not allowed to have my own money. Otherwise, I'd save and pay for those classes myself. They say I can eat lunch and dinner in the campus cafeterias and they'll give me VISA gift cards to pay for breakfast and and cab rides to church. I'm not allowed to leave campus unless I go to church. I'm also expected to answer the phone at 6:30 am and 9:30 pm every day. They're already making it impossible to experience many of the things I want to do socially or religiously. How can I convince them that I'm an adult who needs more freedom?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 September 2019):
 How can you get them to give you more freedon and teat you like an adult?
BY acting like one.
You whole post sounds like a spoiled little kid that isn't getting what SHE wants.
I get that you are 18, but your PARENTS are the ones paying for your "college experience".
If you WANT to try other religious experiences outside of your Catholic faith look into what OTHER services and events those churches has that ISN'T on Sundays, believe me they will have OTHER things going on than just the Sunday services.
You haven't even started your first semester and you are already whining about your parents. Give it a go. Follow the guidelines you AGREED to. See how it goes.
Looking into a campus job is a GOOD idea as far as you getting some work experience.
And remember you ALWAYS have the choice to tell your parent no, I will not agree and they can tell you OK we will not pay for squat.
You are 18, which legally make you an adult, but you don't behave like one. You agreed to certain rules in exchange for your education. You should HONOR your agreement.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2019): Get a job...how...go to your campus office and see if you can get a job there.Why there you ask...simple..Most schools let you take free classes if you work there.Also if you do not want to work there most colleges have job centers that will help you find a job.Go to your consults office and find out about school loans.Sometimes living out of the dorms is cheaper with roomates.Be on your own.You can do it and you should as your parents are not acting normal here...not at all.Force you to get a church bulletin signed every week? Just no. You are old enough to do what you want.Earn enough money at a job so you can say bye bye to the crazy.As for those early morning phone calls...tell your parents they are just not allowed that early in the morning and do not take them.You are a adult so go and adult now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2019): Ok, your parents are crazy controlling and you're definitely going to rebel at some point. For your own sanity learn to lie. They want the priest to sign the bulletin (which as an aside, do they think he has nothing better to do?) FAKE IT. Write fake essays about the homily. Change your class schedule when you start. Get a job and lie about it. You're 18. No one can make you do anything or indeed, stop you from doing anything. Tell them the 6.30 calls are making the other people in your house/dorms/halls of residence annoyed. How will they know if you leave campus? How long will you let fear of them control you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2019): I would love to get a job, but they have never let me work. I wouldn't know where to begin. A lot of this is because my sister Anne stopped going to church in college and ended up pregnant. My brother Anthony came out of the closet in college. This is why they do this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2019): Unless you are prepared to pay for your own education you don't have alot of leverage.If you go off-piste they will threaten to withdraw their support. Are you ready for that?If you accept their money you probably have to accept their rules. Shouting that you are an adult is pretty weak if your parents are still paying for you.You might be able to negotiate a relaxation year by year, but don't count on it. Ask yourself which hills you are prepared to die on, which is a figure of speech to describe which principles you will insist on defending.Are you really still a Catholic? That's a big deal, but choosing classes based upon when they are in the day? That's pretty childish.Gift cards are also pretty controlling, but they are circumvent able by using gift cards to buy other cards, but you cannot exert your autonomy without your own money. How you choose to earn that is up to you. You can have a job without you parents knowledge, but that's just another manifestation of your non-adultness.Your parents have got their college control strategy pretty well sewn up. They're organised and funded. You are probably going to fail with pleading with them. Are you prepared to apply for loans and get a job? If not you're going to have suck it up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2019): Get a job, do the things you wish to do, study what you wish to study, and pay your own way.
You are 18 and responsible for yourself.
If you want to consider yourself an adult, go and be one. The only way is to make your own decisions and deal with any consequences.
Change your courses to afternoon ones. Tell your school that you and you alone will alter your things in person only, to prevent your parents interfering.
Unless you stand on your own two feet, you will always be controlled.
Your parents love you, but it is a smothering love. We all need wiggle room.
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