A
female
age
30-35,
*x-lilmiss-xx
writes:Hi, Im 12 years old and need some help.My mum and dad are getting a devorce after 21yrs of marrage. Im really upset about this and not sure what to do because if i tell one of them like i did last time they'd just end up arguing with each other which pushes them further away.So does any body know what i should do to help them get back together?Thanks Jo xx
View related questions:
divorce, get back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sazzy Broon +, writes (12 February 2011):
Hi. I am 14 years old and my parents are splitting up too. I am also upset but, unfortunately I think this is a decision for our parents to work out. I think we have to stay out of it and just hope that everything works out. I get to see my dad every week and I hope you are as lucky as me. GOOD LUCK!!! It is a sad time but you cannot run away from it, you have to embrace the facts… I know how you feel.
A
female
reader, baybay437  +, writes (25 April 2010):
hey there is nothing you can do remeber its not your fault my parents divorced when i was 10 and 2 years later i still cry take care baybay437
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Its not your fault they got divorced my parents divorced after 22 years of being together and 11 years of marriage.
Its not that bad. I wouldn't try to get your parents back together. Because some people are better off living alone.
They will both still love you just as much.
Hope things go alright.
I'm still okay after it happened to me
xxxxxxxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): hello dude w
im 12 iswell and just started yr 8 :-)
dont swet it if ur perants feel like they need to split up then u cant rlly stop them iv experiaced it iswell my perants split up when i was 7 and they still talk to eachother concering me so dont worry just let then sort it out thats what i did :-)
it will work out in the end...
take care and gd luk x
sarah
...............................
A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (16 September 2007):
 i'm sorry to hear that but unfortunately, you cannot force them to stay together and using emotional blackmail like saying you don't want them to split up it would be unfair because they probably feel bad enough as it is considering they have been together for so long. sometimes people fall out of love as quickly as they fall in it and to stay together for you is wrong, because although they do not love each other, their love for you is unconditional and now you can build and better relatonship with both as you will see them and they will devote more time to you one on one. during the proceedings and for the first couple of years it will take some getting used to, but that will pass and you will be happy again, but more to the point, so will they. i think you should show you support them by sitting them down and explaining it's going to be hard on you but you understand why they need to divorce. feel free to talk to me if you need too, but i promise things will get better for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, SusanFindsThe Answer +, writes (16 September 2007):
 Hi Jo,You can't get them back together! You must find a way of standing back and allowing them to walk down their own roads, seperate or together. This won't stop you from loving them both as much as you obviously do, and you should try to get your head around seeing them as individuals in the future and not the partnership they have always been since you were born.Things happen within relationships which cannot be mended enough for people to continue living together. Often it is possible to seperate and then get back together again, but only time can tell if this will happen. Perhaps your parents haven't told you the full extent of WHY they are set on this course of action? We all keep something back!It's terribly hard for a child, young or adult, to accept that their parents are splitting up, and I appreciate your heartache, and how you think you are trying to help. But in fact you will help more by just loving them and letting them work this out for themselves.Honestly, NOTHING you can do will alter the course of events, instead you create more heartache for yourself, and prolong the misery for them as without doubt they will be feeling guilty about how this is affecting you.Reassure them both of your devotion and love, and walk away form the situation, and leave them in peace.Susan
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): Hi - I'm 15 and my parents divorced when I was 7 years old, and my sister was only 3. It can be devastating and have an effect on the whole family but your parents are probably going to work things out around you.What you have to remember is that it's not your fault and I think if your parents have decided to get divorced there isn't much you can do. Just stay out of the way because I don't think there is much chance of you getting your parents back together, though I can understand exactly how you are feeling. Just a little fact - 1 in every 3 parents get divorced now so there are plenty of other children out there who are going through the same thing. Have a chat with one of your parents when you decide what to do - you'll still be able to see as much of them as possible. Your parents will understand how you feel and if you chat to them about how you feel, hopefully they will understand and you can still always see both of them.And, if I put it this way:Would you rather have one unhappy house, or two happy houses?That's the scenario... And I know which one I'd rather. It's difficult but over time you will learn to accept the change and everything will be OK. Just be strong for now.XxXxX
...............................
|
