A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My parents are asian (philippines). Although they care about me and look out for me, they've been strict and controlling throughout my whole life. I'm still under their roof, although I pay for my own education..but I follow all of their rules. I can only go out at certain times with my friends, and my dad always assumes the worst. I've had a boyfriend for half a year now. I know I'm still young, but I feel strongly for him. The problem is, my parents will not have anything to do with him. I understand their fears that I'll get hurt, but I will never understand their bias and prejudice towards his background (his bad "genes"). It's irrational. They're racist but won't admit it. They want me to be with an asian..or an American guy. They won't accept him because of his "muslim" bloodline. He is American. He was born here, even if he is half middle eastern. They don't know he's my boyfriend, but they do know he's a "crush" and thinks it'll just pass...that I'm just blinded right now. I understand that nothing is for sure. But I do know that this isn't going to "pass" anytime soon, and it definitely is a possibility for a future, long term relationship. And I hate the fact that my parents can't see that. My parents hint that I'll disgrace the whole family, and they won't accept any relationship like that. My mom is irritating saying "It's not that I don't want you to have a bf..you just have to choose and find a good/right one". It's so frustrating that they won't get to know him at all, but continue to judge him (directly or indirectly). I just need some different point of views on this, and how to deal with this issue. (I plan on seeing him and continuing a relationship with him, even if my parents think that it's not a serious thing)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): Thank you for your response. :)
I agree with you, it's just sometimes..the situation gets so frustrating and seemingly hopeless. This guy makes me happy, and I will where it goes. I love how you said when I become independent, I can do what I want to do. That's been my whole goal all along. Finish my education, so that I can become independent from my parents.
It's hard to sit there and take that from my parents, because it is irrational. I can see that my mom thinks and believes that she will not let it happen. I can tell that they think they have that much control over me (well..technically, right now they do)
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 Parents have their own perspective about relationships with other races. You cannot fault them because they have seen and experience racism in their life.
You may not agree with them as you are young and you come from a different generation. This is called the generation gap.The world has changed but your parents are still living in their own world.
When you become independent of them , you can do anything you like.In time , they may come over to your side.
Love is blind and transcends all barriers.
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