A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hello, I am wondering what to do in this (long) situation I am currently in. I met this guy online a few months back. We talked maybe like five times a week for the first month, then after that it was like once a week (if that) and it was real quick, like for 2 minutes. I just figured he lost interest in me or whatever, so I never really pushed chatting with him. Anyway, like 2 weeks ago, he IM'd me again, so we have recently starting talking again. The problem is now every time we talk, all he talks about is sex, sex and sex. Of course, I joke around with him a little but I am wondering what he really wants all of a sudden. (He says stuff like WHEN we have sex etc..)Is it just the sex??Another "problem" is we talked about meeting when we first met, it just never happened. So the other day, he said he wants to meet me again in person, I don't know what I should do. If he is just interested in sex, should I still meet him? Also, he is MUCH more experienced in the whole subject of sex, and I don't even know if I should meet him just because even if we did hit off I could never be as sexual (if that is the right word) as him. I am a virgin, where as he is not, obviously, and he does not know I am not a virgin (I don't plan on telling him either). By the way, I am 19, he is 23. I guess the whole reason I am writing is because I do like him as a person, we get along great, have a lot in common, don't live too far from each other, but lately it seems like he has contacted me for the wrong reasons. Does it sound like a bad idea to try and meet him? HELP (if you understood!) Thank You Reply to this Question
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male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (26 February 2006):
 This has "danger!, danger!, warning!, perve-alert!" written all over it. My suggestion is to turn off the internet, and get out there and meet guys who you talk to face to face and get to know. Seriously.
A
male
reader, juttandmeff +, writes (25 February 2006):
If you're not ready for sex with him, then don't meet him, its as simple as that. His intentions are pretty clear, and the result of any meeting is likely to be an at best awkward situation. You don't know him, and you shouldn't try to fool yourself that people you 'know' on-line are the same as friends and acquaintances from the real world - they're not.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 February 2006):
 I think you have a pretty good idea about what he wants and why he's back on the scene, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself.
I suggest that what happened was that there was some impediment to his meeting you before (a girlfriend probably), but that he's free now, and is checking out if you'd care to step into the "no-strings sex-partner" role.
If you agree to get together to "meet", I strongly suspect he's going to read that in only one way, that you want to have sex with him.
What you do about that is your business, but don't try to convince yourself that he's keen to meet in the flesh just so that he can discuss the latest movie plots, or world political events with you. Those things you could do online, or on the phone. Sounds to me like he's strictly on the prowl.
As with meeting anyone that you met online, never assume that the person you see on the screen is the person you'll be meeting. Psychopaths are amazingly careful about hiding their true intentions! (That's why they get away with it.) Always be extremely careful and take nothing at face value if you do plan to meet. Make it public, and take at least one friend with you. Remember what I said about him being on the prowl, too. He might be cranky if he believes he was misled.
To me, this sounds dodgy, and I'd recommend against it, unless you're up for some meaningless, superficial sex. Even then... well, that's just me.
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