A
female
age
30-35,
*lleay
writes:I've been chatting to a guy for aaaaages online. He's 27, I'm 19 but we really get on... like his sense of humour is completely on track with mine and we chat pretty much everyday. He lives about 3 hours away currently but knows I'm moving up there in Sept to go to uni nearby. (happened to be a coincidence - applied before I knew him)... He doesn't care about the age gap... I'm a little apprehensive but still not a huge issue as he looks youthful for his age. Problem is... he has a girlfriend!!!! I found this out about 3 weeks ago. He never brought it up ever but I found it on his page that hes in a relationship and he didn't hide that fact when I asked him but he just never openly speaks about her unless I ask. They don't live together and have been on and off overthe past couple of years and thats about all i know. I was recently staying about an hour away from him and he said if I ever need anything whilst I'm there to give him a shout so i dunno if he was hinting to meet up or what. Anyway... he gives me millions of compliments and even wanted to send a valentines card and has made lots of hints at a possible relationship in the future so what do you think? Would someone really be waiting 6 months to be with me or what? He asked me if I thought he was one of those guys who just chats loads of women up and I said yeah kinda and he wanted to set the record straight and said hes not at all. I feel kinda bad for his girlfriend. If my boyfriend was doing that behind my back I'd be pretty annoyed but I can't stop talking to him. We get on so well. At the same time I dont wanna be a homewrecker but why is he even on a sight for meeting people if he's happy in a relationship?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 February 2013):
 he's a liar and a cheat.. if he cheats on his current gf by going online and finding young naive women to toy with then he will cheat on you.... (he's cheating with you now)
he's NOT happy in his relationship... if he was he would not be on the site... the problem is it may not be the relationship that makes him unhappy... it may be his make up... he may just like the attentions of lots of women.
he's toying with you... he's teasing you
if you end up with him you will always wonder if he's with others online (and he probably will be)
I'd not invest too much time, effort, energy or emotions into this guy if I was you....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2013): You've been chatting on-line for ages...what exactly do you want to get out of this? do you want to meet him? Do you like sitting at home alone just typing to a computer screen? Or do you want to meet real people in your life for real relationships? How do you really know this person on your computer screen is really a guy or anything about him is real? You are chatting it up with a complete stranger....yet you have never met this person...lets say this guy is for real...how would you feel if your boyfriend was doing this with another women on line like he is with you? Would that bother you at all? He is likely married or very immature to be connecting with a 19 year old (no offense to you, it's nothing more than, a 27 year old would be, or should be in a very different place in their life than a 19 year old). If he is what he says he is, he's also likely chatting it up with lots of other women as well.No harm, no fowl at this point...but don't get sucked into all this on-line chatting stuff...it's not healthy to spend so much time doing this and not actually meeting them for a real life relationship or even friendship.You also should not be spilling so much personal information about yourself to strangers on the internet...you just never know what is really behind what he is telling you or showing you. Please be careful!
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (18 February 2013):
 He may not be chatting up loads of women but is definitely chatting up you. I read an article not long ago telling people to be careful when meeting others online. Apparently a lot of men have "married" or "in a relationship" statuses on their dating profiles. When quizzed about it, the men like to say their current relationship is on the rocks and that it's the girlfriend/wife's fault that things are going so wrong and that the men themselves are just lonely and looking for companionship. Then the women feel sorry for the men, feel like they can help them out and BAM suddenly there's sex but not much else.The questions are: If the relationship is so tumultuous then why is he still in it? Obviously there must be something going on right in his relationship or he would have left her already, so chances are he never will.Could you and he be getting along so well because he's lying? He can pretend to be interested in your interests but who really knows?If he can cheat on his girlfriend, then can't he cheat on you too? Well actually, he's already cheating on you but with his girlfriend. You and the girlfriend both have emotional investments in this dude; the only difference between you and his girlfriend is that you're aware of the girlfriend and you don't actually get 'girlfriend' status but she isn't aware of you and she does have 'girlfriend' status. Either way, you're both being cheated on. Don't settle for anything less than wholehearted dedication to you from your man.I mean, he could totally be an awesome man who is genuinely interested in you but he can't just tell you that he's awesome, he has to show you as well. The only way he can do that is to man up, be responsible and tell his girlfriend its finished. Then you can be happy that you're not only getting some half-man.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (18 February 2013):
 Once a cheat always a cheat. Is that the kind of man you want??
He is 27 so old enough to know better. You are only 19 he probably loves the attention. Find someone more worthwhile. If you are off to uni you will meet loads of cool people, forget about this guy!
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