A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello mates!!!!!!im in a kinda tight spot and i really need helpyou see 3-4 years ago meet this incredible guy one problem was that hes 12 years older than me.but we became friends.as the time went by i started to devolp romantic feelings for him.he recently took a flight to canada because of his job.and i understood so before he left at the airport i confessed to him my feelings toward him but i also told him that i wasnt gonna bother him,that i wanted to remain friends and he said it was okay.now heres the problem know that i try to talk to him and in a friendly matter he doesnt write back its like he tries to stall to talk to me or avoid it when he and i clearly agreed to be friends.what i wish to understand is why is he acting that way??please i need help.this is killing me because even though i still love him i just wanted to remain friends because i know im not the best for him and he isnt for me either.he knows me well and he knows i wont try to do anything dumb but now hes acting weird.please help i feel so helpless. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 In spite of your assurances to the contrary, it is quite likely that this guy sees your attentions as a move to get a romance started. If he's single at thirty or so, he's almost certainly not interested. It's probably the case that either he's been avoiding commitment for quite a while now and has no intention of changing, or he's been though a rather short marriage and break-up that he's not really recovered from. Either way, it is likely you've got him scared.
Just keep on talking to him in a friendly manner. Don't push the issue that he's not responding, or that he agreed to be your friend. Just assume that he's still your friend and continue to treat him as a friend. Sooner or later he'll probably get the idea that you really are not a threat, and respond to you again. Of course, this would be a lot easier if you were to become involved with another guy, perhaps someone closer to your own age. Then he'd be more likely to accept the idea that you are not trying to trap him, and might be able to go back to being your friend.
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