A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my daughter moved to a new area almost 4 years. Since moving into this current area, I've found it difficult to form new friendships. I barely socialized since moving to this current location. I tried to be friendly with others and to arrange social time but wasn't having any luck, but finally managed to make a new friendship within the last couple of months.I made friends with a lady from my daughters nursery. We have all been spending a'lot of time together in the six week holidays. I'm feeling destresed and appalled at my friends daughters behavior. I noticed within the last few days that my daughters friend (e), isn't being to nice to my daughter. She called my daughter ugly and can say a few other nasty comments to my daughter.It happend today and my friends mom didn't say anything to her daughter. I was unhappy so told my daughter for everyone to hear that she is beautiful! Which she genuinely is.I feel really fedup and disappointed in the fact that I feel that me and my daughter are being slightly taken advantage of in this vulnerable position. My friend isn't saying enough when her daughter is behaving unacceptable. I opened up and bared my soul of the painful life expereinces I went through and I feel that my friend see's it as an opportunity to not take me seriously and to let her daughter take advantage. I'm some what regretting opening up and inviting these people into my life as they are not really people to be messed with or would want to get on the wrong side of, but I'm vulnerable and pretty much on my own with my daughter. How can I protect myself and daughter in a situation that feels uncompromising. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2014): Just slowly drift apart if you don't want to continue the friendship. Get busy with other things. If the friendship meant a lot to you, you would have to say something to the other mother. Just be friendly/professional about it. There's a way to say things so people don't get all defensive. This is your life, your daughter, you don't need to stand people being disrespectful towards you.
And if she doesn't take it well and things fall through, who cares! Move on, be strong. People like that aren't worth your time. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2014): Cut this woman out of your life. How can you call her your friend? If, for some insane reason, you want to keep this woman's company, tell her you find her daughter's behavior unacceptable. If she refuses to do anything about it, then definitely cut her out of your life. Trying to maintain a "friendship" with such a person will only teach your daughter that it is acceptable to allow others to treat her that way. I know it's hard making friends, especially in unfriendly areas. They are out there. I know because I actually moved from an unfriendly area to a friendly one, and I can't believe the difference. It seems odd, but there really are areas where people are just not friendly. I remember outsiders who relocated to my hometown generally hated the social atmosphere. It sounds like you are in such an area, so try not to take it personally. Do what you can to meet new people, but don't let your desperation for a social life compromise your integrity and don't surround yourself with toxic people. As far as overexposing yourself to someone, look at this as a lesson learned. Try to get to know someone better before you open up fully.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 August 2014):
 I's stop hanging out with this lady and her daughter to be very honest, it's not fair that your daughter gets bullied so you can socialize.
Personally, I would have called the little girl on it. Asked her why she would say something like that. That maybe the MOM at least would catch onto what's going on, she couldn't sit and ignore that.
I would look into maybe sports or other activities for your daughter where she can met kids her own age and YOU can maybe meet some of the moms. Hopefully you will met someone who can BE a friend to you and your daughter.
And I get it, it's not fun to feel alone. But she will start to think that SHE isn't pretty and that YOU are just calling her beautiful to make her feel better.
Next time same your past for people who can respect you.
If you work then maybe look for people your age or look for some adult classes or hobbies where YOU can met new people.
I don't know much about the "friendfinder" apps, but maybe that is something to look into as well.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2014): Am a single Mom with a daughter too. Don't let a situation tie you down. Don't act emotional before our little daughter because she will be too sensitive and loose confidence as she grows up.Tell her every morning how beautiful she is and in such a situation, hug her, tell her she is beautiful and no matter what, you will always love her.My daughter has just made four but no one puts her down, no matter how hard and the valleys she's been through, she always tells her friends.. my mommy loves me, she calls me an angel etc.I over hear her tell friends who challenge her about the lack of a father, even at church, but she boldly tells them, my mommy works hard and God gives us every thing.Cheer up love. i wish we could just talk but,be strong especially for the Angel
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