A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend a short time , he lives a 10 minute drive from me and we can both drive. he told me his dad isnt well so cancelled seeing me , previous to this i asked him how his dad was , he told me hes not at work but goes to see his workmates 3 times a week and is pretty much living a 'normal' life. I said ok maybe we can spend a couple of hours together instead he suddenly said no hes not in the mood to spend time with me and that he thought i understood his 'situation' i felt he was making me feel selfish which im far from that, you would think being with someone new you would make a bit more effort because in the space of 5 week ive seen him twice. he claims his dad will get some test results back in 2 week the same time he said he will want to see me . i honestly think if i said yes he would cancel to spend time with his family. i said this to him and explained wont he want to be with his family when the results come in he just said he wants to see me then . fare enough im there to support him but it feels like im dating him by his rules and when its convenient for him. ive told him i want to spend time with him no matter what mood he is in , if were to have a future i take the good with the bad not just the random good times im getting frustrated with him its like he doesnt know how to have a real adult relationship even tho hes in his 30s what can i do/say to improve this relationship before it goes downhill fast . thanks
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 November 2015):
 I agree you are being a bit pushy and demanding. This is a guy you BARELY know. 2 dates in 5 weeks? Are you sure he is your BF ( I mean officially?) Because he is not acting like one.
Right now HIS priority is his sick dad, I don't see the problem at all. I would DEFINITELY prioritize my sick family member over a new person I'm dating, whether they like it or not. And if they don't like it... well, they can always walk away.
If you CAN understand that this is IMPORTANT for him to be there for his dad, then give him his space - get busy with your own social life, go spend time with YOUR family and friends. IF he suggests a day to met up and it suits you, agree - if you have other plans, then suggest he finds another day.
I'm not even sure what you see in this guy. It's been 5 weeks with 2 dates. He has time to hang out with work mates, but ignores you. What future do you see? Cause I don't see any.
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (13 November 2015):
I think you are pushing too hard too soon. You haven't been seeing this guy for very long. If you want to jump right into a serious relationship this may not be the guy for you.
Give him space, you can't force someone to want to spend time with you. He is clearly not as serious about the relationship as you are. Go and do other things instead of making yourself constantly available to this guy.
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