A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Objectively speaking, the girl I'm seeing is a real catch: smart, confident, caring, thoughtful, successful and hard working. We have a lot in common and share similar goals for the future. She has said she loves me many times and clearly means it. I, on the other hand, do not feel so strongly about her. When it comes to resolving disagreement or conflict we're on totally different wavelengths and I think our value systems are completely opposed. when it comes to working on something practical together though, we're the A Team!She went on holiday for a week recently. She missed me very much but I have to say, I didn't miss her. In fact, it was a relief to have a week without her - like my mind had room to stretch out and relax and I could breathe easily.My needs aren't being met in this relationship. Does anyone have any advice on how I can be more assertive, to improve life for us both, whether we remain together or not?
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female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (9 May 2007):
You've answered your own question. I think maybe she is over-doing it perhaps to fit in to and I am sure if you had a frank conversation with her she would feel she is doing the illusion. If you are so apart on what you like doing, not practical stuff, I think it is time to take the walk on Route 66 and tell her its not geling...
A
male
reader, Dr T  +, writes (8 May 2007):
well brother the answer is in the question..."on the other hand, do not feel so strongly about her"... says it all really doesnt it?
Life is very short..are you just killing time because you think you should be in a relationship with someone like her or are you genuinely committed to being with her. If the former then dont waste any more time..its best for the both of you.
However really reflect on your feelings, sometimes its easy to take people for granted and let them go.."you dont know what youve got till its gone" !! Feeling good when shes on hols is OK, we all need our time and space.
Think on it and make the right choice for the two of you, its not fair on her either being in a one sided relationship.
Best of luck bro.
Dr T
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