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female
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*mbercapri
writes: im 43 and my boyfriend is 51, we are back to the same problem, hes always lived with his mum who is 90 now and she has spoilt him, we have split up in the past and got back together, the problem is always his lack of committment to me, mention the word and he runs amile, weve known each other for 17 yrs and so its hard to walk away, but im very unhappy,we hardly spend anytime together has he has to care for his mum and work around her, and hes a workaolic,i feel as though things have ran the course but really trying to hang on in the hope of things changing, but i think i know in my heart they wont,my friends say hes quite happy to be with his mum and to be looked after, so hes just using me?
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (2 April 2006):
 No this guy isnt using you, he just ahs differing priorities. His Mum is over 90 and wont be around forever and he obviously likes his job!
It would appear you come quite low on his list. This doesnt mean he doesnt feel for you....just he has other things going on as well.
A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (1 April 2006):
 Hey there ambercapri,
Im sorry to hera you going through a troublesome time with your other half.
I agree with Shania, you are at the bottom of his list of priorities, and you need some time to him aswell..
I understand the care that an elderly person needs thats my job, but you still have time to have relationships on the side.. You should try talking to him aswell about how you are feeling to see if any light is shed on your situation..
You could ask to help out at his mothers make yourself available for the helping hand..
I feel your relationships communication barriers are way too high to get over..
I would advise you to talk to your partner though before you go in all guns blazing and end the relationship..
So try talking and if that doesnt work then you can safely say you want a refresher and end it..
At least that way you know that you have tried all the ways and have got no means left..
Good Luck, Keep your spirits and your head high and you will find someone whe respects you better..
Jacqueline
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A
female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (1 April 2006):
He's still with his mother??? He really loves her then and by the way you put it, his job too. I'm gonna have to go with the crowd on this one, dump him. Find someone who will be with you, spend their time and everything else!
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (1 April 2006):
 Oops didnt mean to add it twice
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (1 April 2006):
He's a mummy's at 51...shock. you known him for 17 years and he hasnt changed a bit then i think you should move on.
i know you dont want to but if he isnt treating you right then there nno point in you staying the relationship in your unhappy
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (1 April 2006):
He's a mummy's at 51...shock. you known him for 17 years and he hasnt changed a bit then i think you should move on.
i know you dont want to but if he isnt treating you right then there nno point in you staying the relationship in your unhappy
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (1 April 2006):
 It sounds to me that his life revolves around his mother and his job,you come 3rd down his list of priorities.While it is good that he cares for his mother,there shouldn't be no reason why he cannot have a life with you,meaning,having a committed relationship with you.You have been together for 17 yrs yet you dont live together,most women wouldn't of put up with that for so long but you have because your hoping he will see sense and make a committment to you.Trouble is he wont....not while you are putting up with it.You are wasting your time with this man and by rights he should be putting you 1st but he isnt.Try this.....end the relationship,tell him why then see what happens.If he really loves you and cant live without you,he will come running and he will do anything to keep you....and that means showing more committment,but on the other hand,if he doesn't bother with you or refuses to go with what you want then really,you never lost much in the 1st place...did you?...Good luck.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (1 April 2006):
 For heavens sake dump him, he is just wasting your time and you need to get out of this one sided relationship and find yourself a bloke who will commit to you.
It is fantastic that he is looking after his mum but you also have needs that he is just not meeting.
Dump him today!!
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