A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a really big problem and i need immediate advice. Okay, a few months ago, my mum announced that she had met a new man (my parents divorced years ago) and i had met a girl recently as well. I was really happy because we were both happy and moving on from a lot of problems. Anyway, both our relationships moved on and grew quickly. I left the country for almost half a year on a trip and my mum eventually decided to get married to her partner. I was so excited about the wedding and having a new father. I had only met him a few times but he seemed like a really nice guy and i was feeling great.However, problems started when i got back. At the wedding, i met my mothers husband-to-be and his family. This is where things go wrong. The girl i had had a relationship with before i left on this trip was this mans daughter, which meant we would be step-siblings. I talked to this girl at the wedding and we were both extremley shocked to find out our parents were getting married. We talked and agreed to tell our parents, but she ended up backing out and they got married without us telling them. Now i have to live knowing that my step-sister is a girl i had an extremley active sex life with and started to get strong feelings for.What should i do???
View related questions:
divorce, sex life, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (8 August 2008):
That's a very educational thread you posted, "troubledtoomuch"! I wouldn't say it's the same situation as this thread, due to the ages and life situations of the two different families but there's a lot to be gleaned in it. (Overall I'd say that other couple wasn't really ready for a sexual relationship but they appear to have acted rather maturely through the whole process.)
I should add that within my circle of acquaintances there is one couple, now married for nearly 20 years, who grew up as stepbrother/stepsister.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Here is a recent question with the same situation, except they are younger (16):
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-girlfriend-became-my-stepsister.html
...............................
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (8 August 2008):
Have you behaved honorably toward your girlfriend? If so, I don't see what the real problem is. Yeah, there's some embarrassment and awkwardness but it's not much different from any other relationship you may have had. Believe it or not, EVERY girl has a father and if contact with the guy is intimidating to you then perhaps you should examine your own motives and behavior.
Speaking as a father - I WANT my daughter to have an enjoyable and fulfilling sex life. Her mother certainly has! And, since I now have two granddaughters, I suspect my daughter and her husband are indeed enjoying that aspect of their marriage, which actually makes me happy.
Are you and this girl still attracted to each other? If so, your mom and stepdad need to know at least the basics of your relationship. If they can't give you two young adults the freedom to have a mature, respectful relationship that's a different problem. But if you try to carry on out of their sight, you are asking for trouble.
...............................
|
