A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, a little while ago I wrote in and got advice ("Should I let my bf meet my disasterous Dad??") It's the first problem on the "age differences" page.Anyway my problem seems to be getting worse now. I was very upset that my Dad was responding so negatively to my boyfriend just because of his age. I talked to my mother about it because she had always seemed very supportive. Turns out, she's not really either.She's very uneasy about me dating him, she said "the age thing is really an issue with me", and she basically said that she doesn't trust me around him. I don't know what to do. It's making me feel sick to think about this. I know we have a big gap, and I know that since I'm only 18 it's an awful thing, but..he's just so wonderful. It hurts me that my parents think of him so negatively, when I've known him for years and I know that he's a fabulous guy who would never hurt me.I'm a University student but I live at home, and now my mom is thinking of not allowing me to see him anymore. I feel so ill about this whole thing.She keeps saying now, "Honestly, what does he see in a teenager? There's something wrong with that." Is there something wrong with that? I keep thinking, maybe there is something seriously bad about this and I just can't see it because I care about him too much. My family's negativity is really starting to have a major effect on me.
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 February 2007):
 Let your friend know about your concerns and let him show by his actions that he has no alterior motives towards you. He could even write your parents a letter and give it to you to give to them, letting them know that he thoroughly enjoys your company and respects you more than anything and would never do anything to hurt you.
Maybe if your parents see that his intentions are honourable then they'll see him in a different light. It's got to be worth a try.
Eve
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): Thanks Kenny. It's not even a 10 year gap, it's only 8! I do think you're right. At my age being legally considered an adult, I feel like I am entitled to date who I want--but of course my parents see it differently.
I don't want to go behind their backs and break their trust (or apparently what little trust they have with me), but I can't just give him up so easily.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (12 February 2007):
 Now i would say that if you were 15 or 16 then there would be something wrong with that. But you are 18, no doubt nearly 19 and he is only 28. A ten year age gap is not that much these day anyway.
For your Mum to say she is not going to allow you to see him anymore is like something you would say to a 15 year old, not and 18 year old. You are quite entitled to see who ever you want when you want.
If you love this guy don't let your familys negativity ruin it for you, after a period of time they will come round im sure.
Good luck x
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