A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I've been seeing a guy for 2 months! He's quite a bit older but ages isn't my issue, he's separated from his wife but not a lot of people know and I've posted on here bout me not wanting to be slagged off at work for being a "home wrecker" even tho they split up 4 months before I came along! So my problem is my mother, she hates him! She used to work with him 7 years ago and I mentioned him and she cut me dead sayin don't even mention his name! He used to be a big drinker and got caught having a drink in work, that's the reason she hates him, says he's a low life, he's stopped all that and has really changed, So how the hell do I tell her I'm seeing him and really like him?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (20 March 2013):
 I see a handful of reasons why you should be keeping your distance from this character (Reason number ONE?: THAT HE IS STILL MARRIED!!!!!)..... and all you can see is that your MOTHER - armed with the information that this guy is a cad - doesn't seem to like him enough to your liking....
Listen to your Mother in this case....
Good luck....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013): You don't until such a time as you feel secure enough to do so. OP it's only been a couple of months, you barely know him, are barely with him why would you even mention it to your mother?
You know her reaction and you may be fooled into thinking after 2 months you know this guy inside out and he really has changed but she's not going to be as naive about it. Really OP at your age you should have enough experience to know that he's going to be the sweetest nicest guy ever the first few months while he works to impress you, you won't know the real him for a long time yet, so until you have concrete proof in terms of time that he's a different man then your mother is going to be as cautious as you really should be.
I mean shit OP 2 months? You probably don't even know his middle name yet.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (20 March 2013):
 Hi
Your mums reaction seems a bit extreme over an ex colleague who drank a bit - did they work in a hospital or similar?
You don't have to say anything really,not till your very seriously involved with this man
Has he moved out of the marital home or seen a solicitor yet?
If he hasn't then take it very slowly
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 March 2013):
 he was caught drinking AT WORK?
does he still drink at home? is he an alcoholic?
My husband is an alcoholic but he would never drink at work.
He's older than you. He's separated a mere 4 months and you've been seeing him for 2 months, your mother knows his prior behaviors were less than exemplary, no wonder she's not happy about the relationship.
So she said "don't even mention his name!"
Make it so.
your supposedly a grown up your mom does not have to like and approve your behavior does she?
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (20 March 2013):
Remember - "separated" = "still married."
Can be troublesome to start one thing before you're done w another.
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