A
male
age
30-35,
*geek
writes:ok I am again in a predicament......my mother and father do not approve of this girl that i am talking to meeting etc..lets call her "girl"...My mother cannot get past Girls clothes that she was wearing when i met her......she was kinda scantly dressed......and she can't get past the fact that Girl has a kid and she is 15.......and my mother is on the verge of forbidding me to talk to her, see her......etc........because she thinks she is a whore........and she is beyond mature conversation. I have tried talking to her and I cannot get through to her............she is completely pre-judging GirlI love this Girl's personality......and not majorly physically attracted to her....but otherwise i was to give her a chance... I fell that eventhough she has made some mistakes in her life that she deserves another chance......but obviously my mother thinks differently........I am just wondering how to get through to her......I am about to turn 17 in a couple weeks and my parents are still trying to control every aspect of my life.......I just want to know how to get though to her and get he to let me see and talk to Girl without a massive argument and fight.......thank you for your time Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): If your parents are controlling you in many ways, I can see that this is your rebellion. I was a biker (I am female) at the age of 16 and used to stay out until 3am. Everyone has their own kick-against-parent points during teenage years and probably beyond.
Will you and this girl be together in two years? Highly unlikely I would say, not impossible, but it is way against the odds. Both of you are still too young to create a lasting relationship so it would be best if you stopped thinking about it. You would just be another person who let her down when it did not work out for you.
Single Mums have a very special position in the world and should NEVER be in relationships with men who are not 120% certain that this will be forever. To keep starting and stopping relationships would be bad for her child, who will otherwise not know stability and become emotionally damaged.
If I were this girl I would be having a break from relationships, bearing in mind that she has already got herself into trouble once, and concentrate on myself, my friends, studies and my child for the next few years.
The way she dresses indicates her attitude to life. There is nothing wrong with dressing scantily on certain occasions, but it is a sign of immaturity that she did not adapt this out of respect for your parents. The signals that she is giving off confirm your parent’s views of her - that she is a sexual person who has created a child. They don't want you to get in trouble or be saddled with a relationship and somebody else’s child so young.
She may have delightful qualities and be a friend along with your crowd of friends. If you have trouble imagining her fitting in it is another sign that this is no go. If I were you I would take more trouble watching out for myself. This is much more important than kicking against your parents, which I admit can be very satisfying(!)but in this circumstance could cause a lot of hurt. I don't think your parents have discussed this with you at all well. If they had given practical and reasonable reasons for their feelings and what their concerns are for you, it would be less tempting to lash out at what appears to be social snobbery about your friend's background.
If you really like the girl as a person, do not take it further. You don't need to be anything other than occasional friends. There are lots of fab people out there with great personalities and when you are OLDER...decide which one you would like to be with. Don't take her down a path that you can not commit to. It would be unkind, you are young to understand that, but if you could it would be impressive.
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