A
female
age
41-50,
*ewbikerbird
writes:PLEASE HELP. My husband and i have been together for 3 years+ I found pornographic dvd's 2years ago and explained to him how bad it made me feel. He promised it would not happen again, then my mother discovered him looking at online porn(humilating to say the the least). Again he promised to not do this again. I have found out twice since then he was still using do this. We talked and after explaining how 'insufficient and ugly' it made me feel(and that i would leave him) he swore he would not do it again. Yet tonight, i have seen a new 'stash' on his pc. He does not make any attempt to make love with me, Yet still he does this. I never turn him down - infact he turns me down everytime i come on to him. Should i follow through and just leave him now. He makes me feel worthless, and the worst thing is sex really is no good. I find i am faking orgasms every single time we have sex. I am actually feeling on the verge of hatred since this last incident. I do have three children who love him dearly although they are not his own. I seem now to be falling out of love with my husband because of the way he makes me feel. Ignored, unloved and unwanted. I am at the end of my tether and dont what to do. Lisa
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007): ok check it out. if he wont stop leave. give him a final warning if he loves you he will stop. unless he's gay i don't know any man who would turn down sex with his wife. If he doesn't respond to your needs find someone else who will. henry
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): Look he is degrading you and disrespecting you...why lower yourself to his level by watching it with him...I can almost garantee all the females will be flawless females and the men will be fat 40yr olds....so much equality in porn...Really think about whether you want to be with a guy who has no respect for women ...or you!PS There has been a lot of research being done recently (links on here already) about how even mild exposure to porn causes most men to find their partners less attractive...ironic isnt it, that all those ladies watching porn with their partners are actually encourageing him to find her less attractive...all she sees is his increased desire for sex after porn but does she stop to think that it is more just the sexual release he wants than HER...she becomes nothing more than a sperm recepticle for him...and I would bet my last dollar that any man whos into porn would choose a porn star over their partner IN A FLASH..The fact he's getting off to these women should prove that12345 -- Rate this answer
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007):
Look he is degrading you and disrespecting you...why lower yourself to his level by watching it with him...I can almost garantee all the females will be flawless females and the men will be fat 40yr olds....so much equality in porn...
Really think about whether you want to be with a guy who has no respect for women ...or you!
PS There has been a lot of research being done recently (links on here already) about how even mild exposure to porn causes most men to find their partners less attractive...ironic isnt it, that all those ladies watching porn with their partners are actually encourageing him to find her less attractive...all she sees is his increased desire for sex after porn but does she stop to think that it is more just the sexual release he wants than HER...she becomes nothing more than a sperm recepticle for him...and I would bet my last dollar that any man whos into porn would choose a porn star over their partner IN A FLASH..The fact he's getting off to these women should prove that
12345 -- Rate this answer
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): Please please please do not listen to anyone who says porn is harmless, or everyone does it, no they do not, it does not have a place in a happy and healthy relationship. It causes more problems and splits people up than ever. It sounds as if he has already reached the point where it has taken over wanting to be intimate with you, they get so that they prefer the hand to the feel of you, and they need the porn to get them excited in the first place, it just detoriates. You will have to have it out with him and is he going to be prepared to stop for the sake of your relationship? but if you make boundaries and he crosses them then what are the consequences going to be, it is no good threatening to leave and then don't carry it out, so only say what you mean. Porn in my life has caused the most heartbreak you could imagine, but we are working on it, and my hubby is trying to make amends, good luck
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (3 June 2007):
I cant give any great advice on this, but i read about a woman on here whos husband kept looking on porn. So she looked on the internet and searched for pictures of men with BIG penis's. She did not delete her website history, so that her boyfriend could find it (maybe you could purposely leave a porn site on). When her boyfriend saw that she had been looking at big penis porn, he was upset, started saying he obviously was not enough for her...and apparently it made him feel really insecure and not good enough. If i was in your sitation i would do what she did. If he is not botherd, or he gets annoyed saying that he can look if you can, then yes...i would just leave him.
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