A
female
age
26-29,
*hesupporter
writes:I'm 22 years old, i live with my Mon, but we don't have a relationship, rather no relationship at all, one of the reasons is that mom never trusted me since i was small and the other one is that she is pushing herself through to make a relationship as BFF. I work, i pay for all my bills and my university also that i help at home when i can or either cooking in the weekends or cleaning the place, i love mom however she has expressed in a very direct way that she doesn't approved any decision that i do (studying business administration, taking majority of the subjects, pay my bills , work 44 hrs weekly, be out on Sunday with friends or with my boyfriend, practice extreme sports, the list goes) she wanted to be in control in anything in my life and even though i make a calm conversation it escalates due that mom feel offended that i stand up for myself, I've been standing up for a long time until one time i never told her i did have a boyfriend, i never said it because i was scared and i didn't want any confrontations, but it tremble down my relationship with him because we didn't spent time together as a normal couple , we split up and he was knowing another girl (which came out to be she had other guys ) until a incident with a weird guy happen and my parents discovered it, my mom screamed in front of him that she will never trust me again, a year past and my mom still rubbing it in my face like if it was the worst mistake ever, a time passed was very depressed no one was there to support me, and each she would come in and tell me bad things (that i was used and i'm not worthy anymore if i didn't have the most precious thing) i felt bad but it kept me to distance from my mom and my stepfather i wanted a peaceful place, i was trying to save and move out but something always happened and i wasn't able to , one day i expressed i wanted to move out and hell was raising in my face and once more i was rubbed in face in the wrong i did a year ago, i started talking to my ex again and we got back together but is more of a struggle because i'm not allowed to just go , mom wanted everything to happen in the house,however things got worst with mom and i cannot even sleepover with nobody not with friends or family or my bf, my curfews are 11:30pm if its after that she would make big noise,i know is her house her rules however i was never allow to develop myself to do the things i want , was never able to go to a concert, a party, a sleepover, school travel... name it, consequences in a point that i like so many things but i can't pick what, i know i made mistakes i corrected them tried to be more open but i am always slapped in the mouth and told to shut up, and i am too soft to just fight back it mattes to me a lot and i cant just walk out, i need help and support but bf is getting tired of my mother, i'm getting really frustrated about the situation, thinking in so many ways to do something without involving to move out but is already impossible and i don't have enough strength.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 April 2017):
 The only option that you have is to move on and be independent, at 22 I don't see how even house sharing could be such a big problem? I had to fend for myself at 17 and I turned out okay. Try it, you will love your freedom.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2017): It is past time for you to find your own apartment and move out. You say you cannot just walk out, and it is impossible to move out? Why?If you pay your own bills and do much of your own housework, then you will be able to apply and find your own place no problem. You are legally an adult, so start taking responsibility for your own happiness already. If you are having emotional problems with this decision, check with your university resources. They have free counseling for students, and it sounds like you may need that to get your self-confidence improved.Also I am sure there are plenty of fliers around campus advertising for housing too, if you need or want a couple roommates your first time out on your own. It would be a good, real-life, learning experience for you to deal with others besides your overbearing parent. You will be happy with the growth you can accomplish when let out in the sun, so to speak.Don't be afraid to do what is right for you. And do not think you need to tell your mother all of your plans before they are set. It might be best to keep them from her until you are ready to pack and go that day, from what you describe. You can assure her later, after you move out, that you can still visit her occasionally and schedule time together if she wants, but on your schedule, like a grown up.I hope you can take the leap to full adulthood. I am pulling for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2017): for gods sake you are over 18! you are not some 14 year old teen.
tell her to shut up and let you lead your life, she is a control freak..
move out, you are not a child and do not need to be treated like one, I cannot believe you are letting her teat you like this, it is way past time for you to grow up and stand on your own 2 feet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2017): If you can work and pay all your bills then find a place to live. Go move in with the roommate, ask a friend if you can crash on her couch for a while, it's not unreasonable for a woman in her 20s to find her own place to live. If you are so unhappy with your mother, then move out. You don't need an engraved invitation, or a marriage proposal, or whatever to move out. You live in the USA, you are well past the age of being an adult, you have a job you can support yourself, you can move out. Empower yourself. If you can't do that then you need some help.
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