A
female
age
36-40,
*aiyuri
writes:I am 16 years old and need more than this. I'm living with my mom and dad, my dad is ok and I love him. But my mom, she brings my self esteem down. For the past 4 years I worked for her, respect her, and loved for her. Until May, she had to close down the business for awhile. I told her I needed money so I went out to find a job somewhere else. I found another job and worked there for 2 months, but i quit because the manager was racist towards me(I am asian). I told my mom about how he makes me clean other co-worker's tables and duties but dont let them help me. And I asked him, "Why are you making me do other people work?" He replied, "It's team work and beside it's what you're kind go for anyway." I cried in the break room and just took a break before I head out to work again. The day was over and I went home, took a shower, and went to bed. The next day aorund noon my mom came into my room and shouted at me why i havent clean my room as she wanted. Then she went to my sister's and mine bathroom, and went to the sink and asked me why havent i clean it? I told her i haven't use the sink for months, i only use the downstairs sink. she said, "I don't want to here about it! You're going to do what i tell you to do." I said, "But I didn't do the mess, it's my sister's mess!"" I dont care, clean it and after that clean the whole house."First of all, I worked my butt off non-stop at work and now here I am cleaing the house too? Then later on she said I'm nothing, when I am ready to move out I'm going to be low life whore, no money or anything. And I'm not going to make it into the world.Months past, I quit the job with my mom's permission. Two more weeks later she said I was the lazy whore who needs to start making money. (she was unemployed) She expect me to work more while I still have school! And now, she's pickiing on my boyfriend saying he needs to get a job or how is he going to support you? Get this through your head: we're only 16! 16 years old! We got a whole lots of things ahead of us! My mom is just person who likes to pick on me and I want out! Today she got mad at me because I talked to other people about my problems and not her. If i were to talk to her about my problem she'll turn it around and make it "my fault" and make me feel bad! I'm sick of it! I am about to do something crazy! please help me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): I'm sorry to hear this, but at times living in another country, you may encounter prejudgement pertaining to another nationality, so the family should be very united to make things easier to put up with. On the other hand you don't need to think it will always be this way, eventually you'll feel more accommodated to the environment and as you said, you have lots of things ahead of you. Now, although your mother may sound unfair, she could be as well confronted with inconsiderate remarks now and then as you were at the place of work you mentioned, and the anger could be her way to administer this or other possible problems. You must at least pretend to understand her. At 16 it wouldn't be easy to abandon the nest, find a steady job and so on... Sometimes we can't run. Sometimes people come on dearcupid and complain they can't control their anger, their outbursts come unintentionally, so try not to blame her even if that is the first impulse. Then until you can manage alone, be the mature here and tolerate the situation at home and never allow it to ruin your self-esteem, in order to be able to move forward in life. How do you get along with other relatives? Praise yourself when you're able to overcome the hardships. And you know what they say, every cloud has a silver lining. The problems at young age teach you how to counteract them when they appear later on. Best of luck, dear.
A
male
reader, Escalaya +, writes (2 September 2007):
 I don't mean to sound racist, but i find that alot of the older asian mothers, and fathers tend to be very extreme about what they expect of their children, all my friend's parents (that are asian) are just like that. It amazes me, sometimes. But I understand it's because their parents want them to be the best they can be.
Talk to a friend you trust, and love. The fact is, you need to explain to your mother what the problem is, and talk to her, if you don't she'll never understand what so ever, and there's no chance of things changing. Feel free to do something crazy, how ever, make sure it isn't something you'll regret.
Blow off some steam, Hun, take a small break, go visit some friends, go out and have some fun, sounds to me like the stress is just building up on you.
Best of luck, take care.
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