A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently caught my girlfriend sending a text message to a guy asking him to have sex with her... Upon me catching her (like 30 seconds after sending the text) she completely appoligized for being stupid and didn't know what she was thinking (she was drinking as well)... I don't know what to do. She swears up and down that she would have never acted on it if i didn't catch her and that she wants to be with me.This whole thing happened in about 2 minutes.I sent an angry text because she was hanging out with him down at the fire, i wanted her to come inside with meShe sent the text, requestingHe responded, acceptingI walked down and immediatly took her phone and we proceeded into the houseYou can imagine what happened from there...I really don't want to break up with her, we have been together for 4 years now, and I can't imagine what it would be like without her...But, I cannot stop being completely furious with her. I can hardly look at her without becoming angry. I want to forget it, but all I can replay in my mind is the text message, that and punching the kid afterwards.Please help me, I do not know what to do... I love my girlfriend, but my morals do not want to deal with this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): The moral thing to do, the RIGHT thing to do, is give her a second chance.
At the very least she deserves the chance to regain trust and find redemption.
But it's a two way street. You both have to be willing to confront the question of why she felt the need or desire to seek sex elsewhere.
Regardless of if she did or not, it still hurt you and she needs to understand that. You also need to understand that you cannot take the moral high-ground and be unwilling to forgive.
I'm not a religious man, but I don't need a bible to tell me it isn't worth carrying that pain around because you can't move past it and forgive those that caused it.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (8 July 2008):
 You're girlfriend is immature and I suspect she has some wild oats to sow before she's ready to settle down with one guy. This is common with girls in this age bracket. I suspect you'd be better off to just break it off now and move on but I know that's easier said than done. So if you want, stay with her, but more than likely you will feel like you have to watch her very closely, probably check her phone and fret constantly when she's not where she says she'll be, or she can't be reached by phone. After a while this will become exhausting, and your constant suspicion will drive her nuts (not that she doesn't deserve it) and then you will eventually come to the conclusion that if you can't trust someone you have no business being with her. You can cut it now, or let it play out naturally just so you'll feel better about your decision. (Sometimes the exhaustion of having to constantly watch your loved one helps you finalize the break up with fewer regrets). Either way, I wouldn't trust her after this. Sorry but she's young, she's curious about other guys, she's immature and probably doesn't really know what she wants at this point in her life. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (8 July 2008):
 it doesnt matter whether she was drinking or not - she still wanted to cheat on you. she says the never would have acted on it if you didnt catch her - she still asked someone else for sex!! you can sugarcoat it all you like but thats a black and white as it gets.
i know how hard it must be...being with her for such a long time and not wanting to be without her, but wat about next time when she's drinking again and you're not around to catch her? you dont know wat could have happened if you weren't around this time.
to be honest, if it was me, i would be out of there. it doesnt matter if there was sex involved or not, she cheated in my eyes and i wouldnt accept that.
you deserve to be with someone who appreciates you and is satisfied with you and doesnt go looking for it somewhere else.
im sorry, but i just dont think that you can trust her. its not like it was a stumbled upon one night stand. she had obviously been thinking about it and initiated asking for it.
hope this helps, email me if you want good luck xxx
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