A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My mom has been friends with a big family for a long time. The parents of the family are now dead, but one daughter, whom I'll call Alice, lives in the same townas my mom. Recently a son and his wife were in town and staying with his sister, Alice. My mom invited the son and wife to dinner. About a week later mymom took Alice out to lunch. She was horrified that Alice said she and her husband were hurt that my mom hadn't invited them to dinner too.The thing that amuses me is that this woman and her family have never invited my mom over for dinner at their house! And yet she has the ill manners tocomplain about a lack of invitation while eating lunch on my mom's dime!What should my mom do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2015): At this point your mom doesn't have to do anything.
BUT... I am strongly disagreeing with others. The brother and his wife stayed at his sister's. The appropriate invitation would be to invite EVERYONE who lives in a house, and then it's their choice whether to come or not. Honestly, the situation for me is very akward: the guests of the house going to dinner to a person the whole family are friends with, but the other 2 are not invited.
Just imagine the situation. I came to visit my friends in another city. Their friend became my very good friend over the years, so wheni visit my original friends, she calls and invites only me but not them. How weird is that???
Your mom obviously didn't realize what she was doing, though for me it's an obvious no no. I don't know why she took Alice for a free lunch, may be there are other circumstances we don't kow about, but that's really irrelevant.
Free lunch is a separate issue. I am sure Alice was upset not because she didn't get her free dinner, I am sure the frustration came from not being included. The fact that she never invited your mom for dinner also is irrelevant. May be she doesn't throw parties at all. May be she can't cook well and never invites anyone for dinner.
I after kids left huse don't invite anyone for dinner also, butifi a invited, I then reciprocate somehow, may be take my friends out somewhere or for drinks.
If I was your mom and my friend got upset with me because of my non intentional negligence, I would appologize and in a future pay more attention to things like this.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 March 2015):
 I don't think your mom has to DO anything.
she had brother and his wife to lunch are Alice and her brother conjoined twins? IF not they can do things without each other.
She took alice to lunch the next week without the brother and SIL so why isn't the brother asking about it?
See BAD manners on someone else's part do not require a reaction.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 March 2015):
 That depends. WHAT does your mom what to do? Do she WANT Alice to DICTATE whom she has around for dinner? Who she can invite?
Maybe she hadn't seen the son/wife in a while and thus invited them.
Though I suppose if your Mom KNEW they were staying with Alice it would have been POLITE to invite Alice too.
But I just don't see the problem here. YOUR MOM is FREE to invite whomever SHE likes over for dinner at HER house.
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