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female
,
anonymous
writes: hello there! im a teen in need of help. Me and my mom used to get along very well but everything is so different. Now that im 15 (turning 16 real soon) she treats me different. She's very old fashion and girl/boy relationships are new to her. She had her first boyfriend when she was 21. she expects me to be the same way. So i have a boyfriend now, and i told her. i wasnt going to lie to my mom. Now she tries to keep me away from him and says that im not aloud to go out and have fun with my friends. I go out once a week, on fridays. I only see my boyfriend once a week,he doesnt go to my school. My mom treats me different and i feel unloved and very limited. I barely ever go out. What should i do? I want her to understand that its okay to go out with friends and that its okay to have a boyfriend!
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female
reader, bodylotion +, writes (1 April 2006):
 All mothers are protective.But as you said that your mot wasn't bothered before so why is she now?Mabe something has
happened which you haven't relised.Talk to her and ask her why she has changed.Mabe she'll say she hasn't but mabe she will give you answer.Hope it all goes as you want it to.
A
female
reader, Angelicc  +, writes (1 April 2006):
 All mothers tend to be over protective they have a right to protect there children. mother tend be more worried about there daugther rather there son. they believe that there sons can protect themselves and there daugther need protecting.
so when you say to her i have a boyfriend the first that pops into her head is now that your got a boyfriend and turning 16 you'll be engaging is sex activites. you would to if you were her espeically when your hearing about teenage engaging in sexual activties at the age of 12, hearing about girls becoming mothers at the age of 14 and hearing about nasty diease/infection you could catch.
you should just talk to your mother about it, ask her what is bother her, why she is acting the way she. tell her the way shes acting is driving you two apart and how you miss how she use to be.
tell her whats on your mind and how you feel because if you dont it'll only get worse
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (1 April 2006):
 Your mum is being over protective and the reason for this is that she does not yet feel ready to let you go, she knows the dangers of the big bad wide world and has kept you safe for nearly 16 years.
Her job is to be your protector and a mothers love is a deep and complex emotion and in her it is still very strong in the way that she has not yet woke up to the fact that you are ready for the next step in life and that this will inevitably be a step away from her love and safety where she is in controle and feels she can controle you.
What you have to do is understand why she is like she is but to gently get her to let go of the reins slightly, you will need to talk openly with her and reassure her that you are sensible and that you are ready for some indipendance, tell her that you are aware of her fears but that you need space to grow and need to make some mistakes in order to learn.
Tell her you are sensible with your boyfriend and that pregnancy is not an option, tell her you are going out and she will just have to let you go and trust you.
Make sure you ring her to let her know you are safe if you are ever late and always tell her who you are seeing and were you are going, build in some safety nets that you both agree, go out once a week then when she feels confident that you are ok, make it twice etc, talk to her, tell her what you did, what a good time you had and keep reasuring her that you are being sensible and that you appreciate her worry and you love her for it.
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