A
female
age
30-35,
*bbylea$
writes:im 16 and my mother wont let me live my life. im nearly 17 she wont let me sleep at my boyfriends flat and he's 22 she gives me times when to be in she really does my head in i have tried talking to her but she just doesnt listen i really need help. what can i do?? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Revanofdarkness  +, writes (16 December 2008):
 I'm 20 got a sister your age she was crying about the same thing like you where but you live at your mothers place meaning you have to live by her rules personally i think it's sick dating a guy thats 4-6 but your young and maybe in love so there's nothing sick about that and your mother is just worried that you will come back home pregnant or heartbroken after your boyfriend had his fill.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Sorry, but it's your mother's job to place restrictions on you. You are not being treated unfairly. While under her roof you live by her rules. I'm 26 and when I go home to visit my parents with my boyfriend, we have to stay in separate rooms, regardless of our living arrangements on our own. If we want to sleep in the same room, my Mom has told me that we are more than welcome to stay at a hotel.I know it sucks, but you just have to be patient. Accept her decision and and follow the rules. It is your life, but your Mom is looking out for your reputation and interests the best way she knows how. And truth be told, 6 years is a big age difference at you age. She probably also worries about you getting hurt by a guy who's so much older than you. Is there a reason that you need to stay over your boyfriend's house? (ie he lives out of town) Or are you just trying to stick your sex-life in your mother's face? No parent likes to think of their child having sex, especially their daughter. I don't suggest you lie to her, but maybe discretion is in order as well. You're mother may also not trust him. Try having him over to dinner so your Mom can get to know him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): considering you're only almost 17 and he's 22, i understand where she is coming from. honestly, my advice is to just take it slow and don't push she. its only to protect you, and in the log run, you might just be happy you din't sleep over.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (13 December 2008):
 Do you depend on your parents financially for food and shelter? If so then generally they get to call the shots.
I'm kind of old fashioned but I certainly wouldn't be happy about my daughters sleeping at their boyfriend's place when they are 16. Fair or not it just isn't looked on positively by society. What your mother will be imagining is something along the lines of you pregnant by the time you're 18, 3 kids by the time you're 25, no qualifications, dead-end McJob ... boyfriend off to pastures new by the time you're 30.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Fighting will never straight things up, be smart, you gotta find a way to talk to her. You know her better, and as dumb as it sounds, she acts like that cause she loves you and she's afraid something bad could happen to you. So if you let her know you better, for instance, chat with her about situations with your friends, what do you think and how would you respond, maybe its a way for her to know u better in "dangerous" situations and give her more confidence in you. Try to stop her fear by talking to her.
Take care.
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