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My mom hates my boyfriend and me, because weve had sex, she's going to kick me out of her life, help please!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 October 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 26 October 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *o_Fedup__ writes:

OKay um, im 14 and my boyfriends 15,ive been having sex with him for about two months now, weve been together 3months.My mam found out about a month ago and asked me directly if i was having sex with him. (my mams 8 months pregnant after a condom split with her boyfriend, i think this has alot to do with why shes dealing with me in this way.)

she turned her back on me for a month and refused to talk to me, i became depressed and she still ignores me to this day. She hates my boyfriends guts and is making my life a living hell, she says i can either live my own life and not be involved with her, meaning i see my boyfriend when i want or live by her rules and learn shel never accept him or the fact were having sex, meaning im lucky if i see him. She allows me over his house at certian times, but makes a big deal and makes everything into a argument, meaning i end up in a state crying, and most times i have to lie about were im going to see him. when i ask if i could stay at his to prevent me having to get the bus home alone in the dark. (we live about 30mins away from each other) sleeping in a separtate room, she yells at me now shes ignoring me again. i fear shes going to turn her back on me, and il loose my boyfriend because i wont be alowed to see him. she also thinks hes a control freak as everytime i make plans with him my mam tells me i cant see him or go out with him, he gets disapointed and stops talking to me.

please help me. its all getting to much and im on the verge of running away or worse.

View related questions: condom, depressed

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A female reader, so_Fedup__ United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2008):

so_Fedup__ is verified as being by the original poster of the question

can i just say to the anonymous writer that i felt ready and she would react the same if i was maybe a year older as she has very strong views on sex and has told me straight that she would still react the same if i was older

and how do you know what my relationship is with my mam?

all we do is argue.This is all because her and my dad divorced nearlly 6years ago and i remind her of him to much, i remind my dad of my mam to much, so he walked out off my life, after we had a arguement in which he yelled "you mean nothing to me, get out of my life, get on with yours and ill get on with mine" this was 10months ago, i have herd nothing from him untill this week. so you can imagein how awkward everything is. considering my father doesnt really wana know me and my mothers turned her back on me because of something ive done. yeah im really not guna break up with the guy i love, hes the only thing keeping me going and the only person who talks to me no matter what.

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A female reader, so_Fedup__ United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2008):

so_Fedup__ is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for your advice. i think i understand alot more. and yes we are using protection, everytime, its not a regular thing, when i go over we just enjoy our time together and watch films and stuff, but my mam thinks its everytime i go over, when it really isnt. ino im young but i felt ready and ive known my boyfriend for years, we were friends, so i practiacally know everything about him. im 15in a few months time, and hes 16 soon.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2008):

She's 8 months pregnant and she is mental on the hormones. She is also TERRIFIED that you, her baby girl, are going to get pregnant.

Why not stop having sex with your boyfriend and tell her that you are have stopped and will not do it again.

Then you just have to live by the rules and earn some trust. Asking to stay over at your boyfriends house does not look good even if your intentions were innocent.

Stay in more and come home earlier for a few weeks. Don't give her a reason to yell at you. Talk to her boyfriend as well since he is going to be in your life a lot and use him as a go between to talk to your mum.

It'll be hard for a while but it will get better if you keep smiling and try to be a model daughter. Then you can have your freedom back with trust.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008):

I feel sorry for your mum, she sounds devestated that at such a young age your having sex. I think any decent mum would feel a failure if their 14yr old was doing that.

Your mum should mean more than your b/f, split with your boyfreind and focus on freinds, family and studies. You got a whole life ahead to deal with relationships, and your mum wouldn't care so much as your be older and more ready.

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