A
female
age
36-40,
*anna03
writes:my dad died last january and now its only me and my mom, and now we are having arguments and fight because she wants me to stop my relationship with one guy because we have different race, religion. ive known this guy for 4 months only, and dated for couple of times, but we feel we are so inlove, but my mom wont even allow me to go out anymore and she doesnt even want me to chat or talk with him. so what we did is to talk secretly in mobile.and we decided to keep our relationship coz somehow after some time maybe my mom will accept. uncles and auntie, im feeling guilty at the same time and i dont know what to do anymore.please advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, FaddedDay  +, writes (21 April 2011):
 Hey, first of all, calm down. I had the same situation. My parents are extremely overprotective, and they also don't like his race/religion.So after attempting to keep my mind off the guy I love, I finally gave in, and hid the relationship. After about a month, my state of "completely totally in love" became noticable, so I kind of started prepping my parents for the news. Dropping comments about how much of a good person he was, etc. Eventually, after kind of beating around the bush, I asked my mother what she would say if she had found out that I'd been keeping this from her, and she was resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to let this guy go.
My mother doesn't completely approve my relationship, so I try not to talk too much about it (I still drop a lot of "he's amazing" hints), but she won't interfere, and I don't have to hide anymore.
So, all personal experiences aside. Go out with this guy in secret for a while, let your mother stop stressing over it, and then start prepping her like I did. Mind though, make sure that your guy is worth it. Don't rush things, and make sure that your mother is in a calm state of mind when you break the news.
She might be making a big fuss because the pain from the death of your father is still raw (my condolances), and if given more time, she'll be more rational about your interest with this guy.
Best of luck :)
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