A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Me and my mates used to joke when i was single about me being gay because i played a gay in the school play. However when i met my girlfreind they thought i was joking when i told them and they ignored me from then onwards. I made new freinds with my girlfreinds mates but what about my 'true' mates.how can i talk to them?? Help Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): there not freinds then as true mates would understand . unless you are bi or gay iff not then forget them
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): Do your mates that ignore you have girlfriends? It may be that they envy you, and manifest this way. If you used to joke about your position in the play and it didn't upset you, keep hold of this attitude and don't be a victim of their targets. You can ask them, but nobody should be knocked into hostile attitudes without explanations. And reconsider them being your "true" friends.
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A
female
reader, towapa +, writes (25 June 2007):
Perhaps you have left them out and they felt they were being ignored, so now they're not talking to you as much. Or may they're just jealous of the fact you now have a girlfriend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): Well if they ignored you than maybe they weren't "true" mates after all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): Talk to them normally. But I believe that if they were "your true mates" they wouldn't be ignoring you. On the other hand now they may feel strange around you because before they used to hang out with you much more and joke around all the time. Now you are engaged in a serious relationship and they may not know what to expect from their frienship with you. They may feel that you want to spend all the time you spent with them before with your girl. If the gay thing never bothered you and you still want their friendship I suggest you talk to them as normally as before and without neglecting your girlfriend hang out with them like you always did. If you encounter rejection from their part you should confront them about it. Remember that in the case that your relationship with your girl ends you'll have to turn to them to hang out.
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