A
female
age
41-50,
*likenight
writes:A friend of mine is having a bachelorette party in 2 days and I just found out about it. Another friend was supposed to invite everyone. I read a bulletin in Myspace from the girl getting married and it said that she needs a head count for the bachelorette party this Friday, in 2 days. So I posted a comment to the girl who was supposed to invite everyone and I said "thanks for inviting me to the bachelorette party, oh wait you didn't" Then she emailed me and said "I didn't think you'd wanna go because of you being pregnant" I went to the wedding shower and am supposed to go to the wedding. Do you think it was rude of her to not invite me, or am I being too sensitive. I am pregnant, and it is going to be a drinking party. I guess I just feel left out.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): Im the question asker. Bitterblue, I was not planning on drinking if I went!! And the other friends have never had a baby before. So they don't know, but I was just wanting to know if she should have asked me anyways and let me make the decision to go or not. I live in the U.S. and here even 1 drink is not okay if you're pregnant. I was reading that in other countries women still drink while pregnant and it's not a big deal!! Here it is. Thank you for the advice everyone. I am not going to make a big deal of it. It they were smart, they'd of invited me along as their designated driver!!
A
female
reader, lisa21  +, writes (16 August 2007):
hey i'm pregnant too and most of my friends seem to have got on without me so i know sort of how you feel, your mate should have offered you, you are pregnant not ill and drinking isn't the only way to have fun. good luck with the pregnancy. x x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): Naturally given the circumstances the others may try and protect you, advise you, especially those who've been through the same experience. Your friend took the liberty of deciding in your stead, probably thinking it's unappropiate for your condition. She can tell you how it's been afterwards and that will make you feel less excluded? Then there's always the option of more intimate reunions, that save you from the noise. Check out this list, it appears even small amounts of alcohol are potentially dangerous.
http://pregnancychildbirth.suite101.com/article.cfm/top_things_to_avoid_in_pregnancy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): I would be feeling the same way you do. The fact that you're pregnant doesn't give her any right not to invite you, it's your decission to make. She might have felt that because it was going to be a drinking party you would feel uncomfortable, but it's still your decission, she shouldn't have made that decission for you. I wouldn't make a big fuss aout it though, she probably didn't do it out of meanness, she was just being insensitive. Just let her now it wasn't cool for her to do that. If the bride wants you there, you should be invited. Take care (and have fun!!). Congrats on the baby btw.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (16 August 2007):
 I'm pregnant and my mum is getting married tomorrow. I went along to the hen night last week and didn't drink a drop yet had a great time. It wasn't the kind of party where everybody got really really drunk though.
I can kind of see where you are coming from. Because you are pregnant you feel left out. I completely understand that hunni.
I would ask this mate if it is ok for you to go, if you want to go that is. Take a bottle of non-alcoholic wine and have fun. If you do begin to feel "left out" because of the drinking then leave and go home. At least you can say you went and had a good time. Or when you ask your mate say to her you'll come for a few hours but leave early before heavy drinking starts. Or stay till the end if other people getting drunk doesn't bother you :)
I think it was a little rude, but I can see it from her point aswell. She's planning a party with "heavy" drinking and you're pregnant. If my mum's party was going to be like that I would probably have gone home earlier in the night rather then stay till the end.
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