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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: I have a very serious problem, with trust. My long term marriage is in great danger, because my husband lost his sexual desire, and we are not the same we used to be.We tried many different things, (therapists,doctors,vacation, etc) He is healthy, but they say testosterone decrease can cause this.. Its not proven, in his case. He does not know ,what is wrong with him,and I have no idea. So it goes like this few years ago.And I have an obsessive fear, that he is not sure on his feelings toward me,but can't say it, and or he will dump me soon for an other woman.Now , that insecurity, drives me to such a thoughts, that I want to leave, because of the fear of I might get dumped ,for an other love, and I feel, I want to be the first to leave so, I don;t have to be the victim. I know its wrong.. I don't want to make the worst step i this life....But How can I trust him, that he loves me, when he doesn't seem to be attracted to me?And how long can I say in a situation like that? I don't think sex suppose to die in 40...How common is that when man loses sexual desire in his 40-s? Can it happen for no reason? Any suggestions, to see clearer ?Thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Lets address the first issue Your feelings of insecurity need to be discussed and might be caused by your lack of intimacy in the marriage. His lack of desire might be that marriage has become dull so you need to look at spicing up your sex life. Remember what it was like when you first got married? Okay, try and get some of that enthusiasm back, wear sexy clothes for him, make him feel that he is sexy and desirable. Has your husband given you reason to doubt his trustworthiness?? You talk about wanting to be the first to leave if there is another woman around...... I would suggest that you consult a counsellor to help as it also sounds like there is no communication between the two of you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Okay a question for you to really think about is why do you think he will leave you? Another thing that may help him retrive his sexual desire again, is look at pornography with him see if anything excites him. Ask him if he would be interested in you both being "swingers" I know you said you were scared that he may leave you for another woman but what typically happens with swinging is they have sex with someone else, just to mix it up a bit and usually realize how good they have it with their wives. Or you both may decide you like swinging. Now emotionally you will probably have to rebuild that mental desire, but it will help if you put some action in it too. Consider these suggestions to help your husband regain his sex drive and lust for you.
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