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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been seeing a married guy for 10mths now I am 24 and he is 40 and its really intense we spend 2 or so hours talking on the phone every night and see one another at work everyday, we spend a few hours after work with one another and every lunch time. We spend about 2 or 3 nights a week together. We have had a few weekends away together, hes always texting me and is always here when I need him as I am for him, just a text or call and he comes, he has met my family and friends, I just cant get enough of him. I have never really discussed taking things futher and him leaving his family for me altho he as I just try and brush over it altho I would love to have him all to myself. I really do not no what to as I also have a child from a previous partner who is now geting attached to him too. He tells me he loves me and I love him loads too, its quite clearly not for the sex cos we dont always do it. We get on so so well and are both so so in love, but what do we do without hurting people. Thats the last thing we want. Please give some advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell its been 4 1/2 years and we are still in love he as just ended things with his wife so times are hard, (she doesnt know about me) i'm sure we will get through. thanks for all your advice
A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 There is no way, that you can continue this relationaship without hurting someone. The sad part is more than likely the person to get hurt will either be you or his wife. What kind of man leaves his wife and kids for another woman? What is so great about him that you think you should compromise your values and integrity for some one elses husband. Put yourself in her shoes. Then be selfish for a minute and think about you. Then think about his children . Then be selfish again and think about you. You deserve someone that is faithful to you and loves you, that can take you on a romantic get-away, or spend holidays with you. If he is married he can not give you that. You say you love him, then do him a favor and send him home to his family and love him from a distance. What he is doing is wrong, I f he is not happy with his wife he should leave. Maybe I feel this way b/c I have a husband and I feel that men can get away with anything as long as there are women like you who allow it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell we have now been together for about 20 mths and still in the same situation although I am moving jobs and will be 60 miles away from him and I will not be seeing him everyday until he moves to the same place in Feb next year, I just cannot end it and I see that we are never gonna be together properly but I love him, How can I end it or ask him to choose?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): you will always be some hurt in this
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A
female
reader, XxTashaxX +, writes (3 September 2006):
 there is no way you can get together with out hurting others. what about his wife and children? it sounds like you love this man deeply, but for both of your sake i think you should end it before anyone gets hurt by your relationship, espeacially you.
best of luckxx
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (2 September 2006):
 But my dear you cant carry on and not hurt other parties, the man is married, and can I assume he has kids? If so there is a wife and kids who will are are being hurt by this sordid affair. Sweetie, it needs to stop, either he needs to say, he wants to be with you and leave his wife, but he cant see you and then go home to his wife, he is playing both of you for fools, its not right. Get out while you can because the situation will become even more of a disaster if you end up pregnant, stay well away. xXx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 September 2006):
 I rather think if he loved you as much as you think he would have left his wife by now. Married men put up all sorts of reasons why they cannot do that (the kids, the cost of divorce etc). It doesnt have to be the case that he is just hanging around for sex and does indeed enjoy your company. The whole problem is that he is cheating on his wife and that is definitely a personality flaw! The fact that he is willing to do that with you means that even if he leaves his wife at some stage and starts a proper relationship with you then how can you be sure that after a while he isnt going to stray? Whats more if the relationship doesn't work out in the future then he will start blaming you for the break up of his marriage with his wife (however wrong that maybe - it is easier to blame someone else). Best to rethink the whole dating a married man thing.
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female
reader, shania +, writes (2 September 2006):
 For a man to leave his domestic set-up, a woman has to offer much more then what he is getting at home.I dare say,he is still having sex with his wife although he wont tell you this.It might be love on your part but i think its probably lust on his.A married man would prove to his lover that he loves her by leaving his wife and kids,that would be the ultimate sacrifice,but what would that make him?...not a very honest man with no family values.If you want this man for yourself then you make a ultimatum,tell him that you will give him 3 months to sort himself out,you will stop contact in the mean time and then see what happens.My money is on him staying with his wife....and if thats the case i would suggest that you let go and meet someone,who you wont have to share with.
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A
female
reader, mojo +, writes (2 September 2006):
your are stuck in a rut girl he will never leave his family.How often have you heard them promise you that alls well and just to give them time.Well let me tell you ask him to choose you or his family and see where that leaves you?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2006): go out and meet someone nearer your age .who isnt married stay away from married men they r bad news .u r 24 u need a proper relationship
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