A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 22 years. It has been rocky. We have been through counseling, but I am realizing that all the things that were said by him were lies. He has been very distant. He continues to fantasize about women and "what they can do to him" to the point that I have caught him masturbating to porn. When I told him how much it bothered me that he did this, his response is that he doesn't care. I have just recently realized that there are a lot of secret accounts and logins that he has. Look there is no affection in this relationship on his part and he hasn't had sex with me in over a month. I am dying inside and really don't know who to turn to. I try to caress him and pay attention to him, but he keeps his distance, by creating a barrier and accusing me of things that I am not doing, or better yet cutting me down because I am unable to find a job, I have been unemployed since the end of May. I am not a model, I might be a little overweight, but I do take care of myself. I have tried talking to him about how shallow he has become, since he is obsessed with my weight, ok I am 5'4" and weigh 145 lbs. All that he can say is that he knows he is shallow and there is nothing that I can do about it. Last Friday, he up and went out, didn't tell me where he was going, when to expect him home and when questioned about it, he said since I didn't have to work that he didn't have to tell me where he goes, that is his business. Well, with a little digging, I found out that he went to an event at a bar where they were judging several females around our age, ugh! Anyone out there is this situation? Or better yet, is there anyone out there that has put a female through this that has some insight on what is going on in his head?
View related questions:
overweight, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): okay, what you are going through is not easy and I have a lot of empathy with you; however it is not unique; (vow, "uncles" please forgive me and don't shoot me down); but it is wierd or strange for men to go through a "midlife"crisis (almost like a male menopause)and from your desription this seems to fit his behaviour;
I can understand that you are feeling hurt and that your emotions are in turmoil; however, I suggest you do not nag him and avoid becoming the nagging wife; that is what is is hoping for; that he will be able to handle; he is almost expecting that; No, I suggest you surprise him; make an effort to do something about your weight, not just for him, but also for yourself; it will lift your self image; however, concentrate on doing things you enjoy, find things to do and take extra good care of yourself and your appearance; maybe change your hairstyle etc; start doing a few things different; get him to notice the difference and vow, don't go out and have an affair but get him worried; he shoudl start wonder why and who you are doing this for;
This should almost be like a type of "shock" to his system; if and when he asks you questions be evasive; don't lie, but don't give detail;
Often this helps and makes the partner realize, vow, something is happening and they become very protective and change for the better;
If not there could be more serious problems and issues; feel free to contact me and we can take it from there; step by step!
Go and get a make over and have fun!
Be strong, best wishes and lots of SMILES
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): Hi
while reading this,i thought he almost sounds quite angry and resentful.....Almost like he is making a point....but what i don't know. good luck.
...............................
|
