A
female
age
,
*missy
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been married to a serial cheater for 28 years. I have prayed, screamed, cried, stalked, snooped, anything I could do to make him see what he was doing. Honestly, even though I "knew" what he was doing, I never actually caught him until three weeks ago. I put a hidden camera and saw for my own eyes the ugly reality. My question..he has a few women that I know Of that he sees often. He tells me that she's a slut and he can't get rid of her...yea right.....I am done trying, right now I'm getting my ducks in a row to leave him. My brain is good and now I know what I want to do. But I want sooo bad to contact one of the girls and clue them in and just really just talk to her woman to woman. There is no saving me and him, so that element is out of the equation, but just tO hear what his lies are. Do you think I could have a chance to get her to open up to me?
View related questions:
stalking Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Vmissy +, writes (22 August 2012):
Vmissy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the posts, you are right. Nothing good would come out of me contacting here except to further push my self-esteem into the gutter further. I grabbed my power back by exposing him and I am not going to relinquish this newfound power without a fight.He is graveling like I've never seen before. A million "I'm so sorry, I've got a problem, I'll go to my grave loving you, you are the best thing that ever happened to me, this is the first time I see my life slipping away"....so on and so forth. While it is nice hearing these things from him, I'm in complete reality that he is being like this go get me back "in check" then go on about his life like it was before. Hell I AM the best thing that ever happened to him and he is going to fall without me and he knows it. In addition to being married, we're business partners, and he knows that I am very good at my job. So I am not willing to accept his bullshit any more. And furthermore, in the quest of finding out what his private life was I lost myself in the mix. I became obsessed and it is never happening again. I lost focus on what was really important, my children. What I am going to do now is 1) make an appointment with an attorney 2) Play his game(better than he does) 3) get my ducks in a row 4) Throw him out on his ass when the time is right....There was never a question if he loved me or not, I know he has always and does love me very much. The question is if he can be faithful, which he has shown over and over will never happen. But I'm in a good place now that I have sorted through of this in my head.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (22 August 2012):
 Nope and you will, in her mind look like a colossial fool. Don't go there. You are throwing pearls to the swine. Really these women aren't worth your effort and they will never heed your advise, or your words, they will just laugh at you behind your back. Let them figure him out the hard way, just as you have had to do. And let it be just as slow and painful.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 August 2012):
 Why bother?....
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2012): I seriously doubt you want to clue these women in...or even find out what his lies are.
I do think however you want to see someone else go through the same disillusionment you're going through at the moment; to see this man's/ your husband's infidelity. I can empathize with the urge...what you've been through and what you're about to go through splitting up with him isn't easy and i'm sure it's emotionally stressful. But the difference between you and these women is that he is not a "husband" to them and they had no reasonable expectations of fidelity. They already knew he was a cheater because he was married to you. You wouldn't be telling them something they didn't know already.
And they probably won't want to talk to you. Why not talk to a counsler instead?
Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2012): I seriously doubt you want to clue these women in...or even find out what his lies are.
I do think however you want to see someone else go through the same disillusionment you're going through at the moment; to see this man's/ your husband's infidelity. I can empathize with the urge...what you've been through and what you're about to go through splitting up with him isn't easy and i'm sure it's emotionally stressful. But the difference between you and these women is that he is not a "husband" to them and they had no reasonable expectations of fidelity. They already knew he was a cheater because he was married to you. You wouldn't be telling them something they didn't know already.
And they probably won't want to talk to you. Why not talk to a counsler instead?
Good luck.
...............................
|
