A
female
age
30-35,
*ugar rayx
writes:Me and my boyfriend has a very active sex life though thier is some problemsWev slept together a good 40 odd times hes came every time but iv only ever had 3 orgasms Its not that hes not good in bed coz he is but he just cant go long enoughWev spoke about it and it does get to him aswell think its lowering his confidence wev tried using vibrators etc but i dont really like them plus i dont want him to need to use them I dont sleep with him for the thrill of it i sleep with him for our closeness but i want my man to make me go weak at the kneesI think the more he comes early the more it bothers him and the more it happens so on and so onHe also doesnt always have a full errection till we actually have sex and i asked him about it but he said hes alway been like that and doesnt know why lolSomeone please help lol Thanks much x
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female
reader, sugar rayx +, writes (30 March 2011):
sugar rayx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo hes not fat lol hes quite awryt actually
N iv tried using vibrating rings etc but still no joy n he wont go down on me he doesnt like it which is fair enough but he wont do anything else n as for me being on top its like thats the only position he knows x
A
female
reader, Sarahlee123  +, writes (30 March 2011):
Hey girl,
SO I have actually only came a few times during actual intercourse. 90% of the time it is through him giving me oral sex, so is the problem that you want to come MORE with actual intercourse or just in general?
If you want to come during intercourse try using your fingers to stimulate the clit even before hes in you and during. Good luck! you will figure it out :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): I come early. But my second orgasm takes a while. So during sex we'll get my first orgasm out of the way before we get down to it properly.Also, position matters. Using a low friction position like girl on top delays the first one. As it happens, my gf likes that position, especially if I suck her nipples, and we'll often both come in short order before settling down to more extended sex.As you can see, the real trick is to know yourself and your partner. You might not be able to have sex enough times to get that knowledge if a "blame game" erupts rather than it being fun exploration.If he has performance anxiety then the thought that a "blame and shame" session might follow sex isn't going to help.Also, is he fat or have some other cardovascular condition? Not ever getting truly hard can be a sign that not all is right with the heart or circulation.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (29 March 2011):
 Hey hun, first of all I want to say that the fact you have orgasms with him AT ALL is a very good thing! Some women just arn't able to do this. So consider yourself lucky!
Be careful you don't place blame on anyone. If you do resentment will build up and come between you. It already sounds like he is suffering with feelings of inadiquacy. I think a lot of people these days put too much pressure on sex being mindblowing every time. Sex is like life, you have good days and bad days. What you have to do is just accept that it takes work and communication to make it good.
If he comes quickly, don't look at it as a bad thing. My boyfriend used to appologise everytime this happened and I felt so bad that I couldn't assure him that it wasn't something to feel bad about. Every guy is different. There's nothing wrong with coming quickly, it just means you have to be creative with ways to satify you as well. One way of doing this is my adding in more foreplay at the start. Insist that he gets you off, or close before you have sex. This could make it fun, like a challenge. If you don't like vibrators, try other things. I know you said you don't want to HAVE to use them, but the sad fact of life is, women generally take more time to reach orgasm than men! It's unfair, and leads to selfishness and lazyness in men, and to dissappointment and disinterest in sex for women. The only way to overcome this is by communicating. Also don't expect sex to be wild and knee weakening every time, especially when you've been together for a while. Sex is also about closeness and bonding. This is natural. But you do need excitement there as well. So try to talk to your boyfriedn and try to work out how you can keep both of you happy. If he's not prepaired to go to any effort then maybe you have to question your relationship. But if he loves you and wants to work on giving you amazing sex, then it is possible! Try not to worry about it too much. The fact you have had 3 orgasms with him shows that this can happen again.
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