My lover looks after his sick twin sister, but could include me more but is not. Do I end it?

A female age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Dear all, Your opinions please. I have been dating a man for around 8 months now. He is seperated has his teenage duaghter living with him and his twin sister who has Downs Syndrome for who he is her full time carer. He is 45 years old. I know he has these responsibilities, but I see him just twice a week, when he comes over and stays the night and it;s not enough, I have spoken to him many times and have stayed at his house, but not recently, and we literally watch a bit of the news and go to bed as he has to get up early to get back for his sister ( she is diabetic, needs time to get ready early to go to the daycenter etc,injections etc, so it;s a bit of a handful). I resent that I am not part of his domestic life, and that he actually could see me more if he wanted to by me going there. I do not have much more time to waste on this and have told him that, but it makes no odds, and he just asks me stupid things like' do you want me to move in then? when he knows full well he can't, and says stuff like' give me time'. I am sick of that one, I know his twin is sick, and he has talked of putting her in a care home, but would feel to guilty, and I can;t take it on, so where does it leave me? should I just cut my losses and end it? plus he is always moaning about money ,wnats to know where I am, and is a bit controlling and moody.is this because of the pressure he is under? or am I making excuses for him? I finally lost it wih him last night and told him he is moaning and stuff and we can never be together properley, and he looked really shocked and felt bad. I don;t know if I can get my feelings back to how they were and the fun has gone out of it, and we argue like never before, althogh he doesn;t even defend himself now, and seems resigned, and i know he is under alot of presure but i can only take so much and he is not giving me as much as he can eg: a friday and a sat night, or sat afternoon., or sunday when I could go to the park or whatver with him and the sister. Am i being selfish ? should I give him a chance or cut my losses and end it? I dont have all the time to waste 'waiting' for who knows what to happend. Even when i have days off , he still makes no real effort.

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