A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I was wondering if I could get advice any would be appreciated.Where to start... I have been with my current Partner since I was 18 years old we met in college. We became best friends and fell in love we know we are soul mates... this is where it gets complicated we are both Asian and muslim that come from a very strict background. We both had to get engaged and married to other people as the marriages were arranged when we were teenagers. So we are both married but still see each other and we are having an affair. We are trapped in loveless marriages and hopelessly in love with each other. We have tried to stay away from each other but we never succeed we both know we can not live this life without each other so we have decided to stay together even though in a secret manner. It gets worse I am pregnant now and I know with certainty that the child is my lovers not my husbands. This is very shameful in my community and family, my family would disown me and bring great dishonor to them. We have decided to keep it a secret and just be forever secret lovers but is it really possible?. I fear for my life if this is found out. [Mod note: the poster is not located in the USA.]
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affair, best friend, engaged, fell in love, muslim, soul mates, soulmate, trapped Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): That's the problem with stone-age traditions and archaic religions. It's all about oppression, subjugating, hypocrisy, "honor" with no real honor to back it up, shaming people, etc. Just a bunch of stupid $hit that has no purpose in today's society where happiness, empowerment, and self-actualization is the reality.
Traditions are meant to be broken, and your family does not have to live and sleep with that token husband of yours. Tell them to get a life and pay them back those 20 goats that were used as dowry to get you married. Give me a break...your elders wrack some serious disciprine!
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (29 July 2011):
 Secrets will be revealed eventually.
So, if you are pregnant, you are going to pass the baby off as your husbands even if you do not know for sure.
Women have tried this since the beginning of time. Some succeed, some fail.
Most fail to keep the secret. Chances are, the REAL Father will have a sense of what is right and wrong towards that child.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): i also forgot ot tell you that you are playing with fire AND YOU WILL GET BURNED.I fear for your unborn childs safety and you should too.if you just cannot keep your legs together then i suggest you divorce your hb. as religious as you claim, adultery is not the answer to your "arranged marriage"you need to either abort or leave your hb because if the truth be found out otherwise, then you will have to face the consequences....trust me, i know what i am talking about....... we have a very strong Islamic community in our area and I know what happens when adultery and the offsprings are discovered.LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): http://www.dearcupid.org/question/trying-to-pass-off-another-mans-child-as.html - 25 July 2011OP read the above and see whether you are ready for the aftermath of your betrayal.I know a lot about the muslim community and well, if you keep this baby, then you have every right to fear for your life. if u are soooooooo scared of being found out as a liar, a thief and an adulterer then why are you sleeping around?????you are not being fair to your hb and this mans wife. they too are "trapped" with good for nothing spouses. think about this!!!!!if you do not want to bring shame to your family and if you do not want your hb to find out you are sleeping around, then you need to terminate this pregnancy. i know your commuinty - do you want this innocent kid to be victimised and traumatised all its life? then you are a very cruel person if you do. just think about this lie and think about your actions and the ultimate consequences.LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 Secrets always have their way of coming out, sooner or later.stay prepared, anithing can happen anitime
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 You live in America. Sell your story to one of the tabloids and then you and your true love can run away together on the proceeds.
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