A
female
age
41-50,
*ay
writes:Firstly i'd like to thank u all for helping me find solutions to my troubled questions . Here i am again in need of ur advice, i broke up with my boyfriend today and i feel horrible i don't no if what i done was the right thing to do.He stood by me when my brother inlaw tried to seduce me , making love was something i found difficult since that incident but he understood, when i left work he encouraged me to go back to school. We haven't been spending much time together as we both studying, i've been feeling distant from him, yesterday was my birthday and he never wished me and it really hurt , his the one who pays my bills since i left work, we've been together for three years now and today he suggested we have a threesome he no's i'm against it and told him before if we do i'll leave him, so when he suggested it, it really hurt me and i told him nevermind the 3some let's just end things here and now . did i take things the wrong way ?did i do the right thing? i still love him so much , how will i get through this?
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female
reader, Fay +, writes (21 July 2009):
Fay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOur situation has gotten better since all the great advice ur'll all gave me, Echo the open relationship was the best ever i need to give u guys better insight see before we started dating we worked together i never noticed him until he became my manager and apparently he liked me since the 1st time he saw me 5years ago yet i never knew he existed i got a PA position to my surprise i was now his PA we started dating and i left work and he supported me with my decision even when i went back to school. Well his been real supportive and encourages me alot and together we over come alot and can accomplish alot too .since my new open relationship suggestion his became some what concerned and is open to any suggestions as long as i stay with him and be honest not that i'm looking to fool around just that we need to start growing as a couple and yes if i look at my sisters 1 with an unemployed husband that gives her regular beatings and my other sister widowed now with a druggie bfriend and now she's one too yes i'll stay with my boyfriend who i feel will make me a better person than i am and give each other better lives.
A
female
reader, Fay +, writes (18 July 2009):
Fay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell we live in the same country, same city before we say each other atleast thrice a week for the least with the work he does it involves lot's of traveling but surely he should make time once a year ain't on, and still he never replied to my sms i mean am i not right to judge if i still love him if i haven't seen him in ages ??
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A
female
reader, Fay +, writes (17 July 2009):
Fay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell echo i decided to sms him today , told him i forgive him for my b/day and asked how his mom is doing, well she's doing okay then we started at it him begging saying sorry again , i explained that it's been a long time coming coz he makes no time for me or even an effort to see me , how should one no if u still Inlove when u've only seen each other once this year so far? Well he never replied again so i don't no where this leaves us , will let u know when he decides to reply some day. But i don't no what my actions will be next , i thought i was important to him?
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A
female
reader, Fay +, writes (16 July 2009):
Fay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsilent echo i'd love to take him back, and support him in every way i can but what if he keeps coming up wit this 3some story knowing how it makes me feel. We hardly spend any time together the last we were together was January so i dunno and yes i'm feeling insecure even told him if there's someone else not to be afraid to tell me
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A
female
reader, Fay +, writes (16 July 2009):
Fay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to all 3 of u for ur helping me i'm about to give u an update on our relationship status special thanks to old man, echo and anonymous . He admitted to forgetting my birthday as his been in hospital with his mother up until today he apologized and said the 3some is just a fantacy his always wanted to experience i gave him an ultimatum either me or the 3some and he chose me i again don't no what to do , do you guys think i should take him back or i dunno pls help? I haven't replied to him yet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): id say deffinately did the right thing. you may hurt for a while, but i promise it passes and then you will see and feel yourself that you did the right thing.
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A
male
reader, The old Man?  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 Well honey, it sounds like you did the right thing.
In the first part of your story, you said that you had a bad experience with your brother in law. You say the Bf understood and was patient with you. Being that he is aware of that,and the fact that you had told him once before that wanted nothing to do with a threesome. One would think that is the last thing he should be trying to talk you in to!
I realize you love him, but if he truly loved you, he might be a little more considerate of your feelings, and instead of trying to convince you to have a 3some, maybe he'd wish you a happy birthday.
You'll get through this just fine. take a little time, have a few good crys, and after a while, you'll be fine.
By the way, Happy Birthday!!!
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