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age
41-50,
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writes: What do I do?I split up with my fiance in July after she told me she was seeing another guy. The reason she started seeing this other guy is because I'd become really down as I'd just been told my Dad was terminally ill with cancer. (Just for the record he's still hanging in there!) Anyway I missed her like crazy and just at the end of the year it started to get really intense so I started sending flowers, brought her gifts, sent letters. I know I sound like a mug, but it wasn't like that.As a result of this she split with him. He said that she was always in love with me and her and I have spoken and she's told me this too! Now I just want to make this clear I have dated other women since we split. And previous to ever meeting her I'd had my fair share of women. But I know she's my soulmate and I've tried not to love her but I can't. It's just a totally different kind of love!So her and I got talking and she told me she was still in love with me. But later in the evening she accidentally let it slip that her and him had a lot of sex. That it was a total lust thing! This really upset me.Anyway we're trying to start again, but if I try to kiss her or cuddle her she turns away and says she feels guilty for the way she's treated me and that she needs space.What the hell do I do?
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female
reader, curious0hot  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 You should leave her alone for awhile. If you do date, try to really give the other women a chance. It seems like you are completely convinced she is the only one for you, in which case, it is no wonder you're not clicking with anyone else...
A
female
reader, 738 +, writes (1 February 2010):
Hey dude i know this must be hard for you im sorry you have to go through that i dont know you but i just wanted to reply i have had my heart smashed to peices before and it is not fun just a little advice since i am a girl i can tell you that she is not the one for you if she loved you she wouldnt trade you for someone she thinks is hotter shes just not ready for a real relationship i hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, girl from bristol  +, writes (1 February 2010):
hi just need to give her reassurance that its forgiven and you still love her and want to be with her and you both should focus on the future not the past future is whats important she obviously made a mistake as she still loves you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): I know you love her but I think she sounds like a nasty piece of work and completely unreliable. Your partner is meant to be the person you turn to when things go wrong, the one that supports you when you need help. They are meant to take the rough with the smooth and stick with you. Your gf on the other hand went of with another guy when you got down about your dad. I think that is dreadful and I would not take someone like that back if it was me. I don't think you can trust her or rely on her to be there when you most need her. She is lucky to have got a second chance with you. My partner's mother was very ill recently, and I also lost a close relative. We have both been down, stressed, lost our libidos for a while, whatever. But never did it cross my mind to bail because he was down, and he was there for me when I needed someone. We didn't go off looking for a relationship based on lust. I think she is selfish and just thinks of herself.
I also think she is not turning away because she feels guilty, I think that maybe she just isn't as into you as you are to her. She is looking for an excuse. I think her behaviour has been immature and completely thoughtless. Let her go. I think she will only break your heart- you two should be at it like rabbits in this stage, let's face it, and she's finding excuses not to. Leave her. Love is not meant to be like this. It should be two way. This doesn't sound like it is. Dedicate your time to your dad and try to realise that she isn't worth the heartache.
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