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female
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*iddy
writes: i wish i new the answers?can you help me .i have been with my boyfriend for 16 years we have a mortgage and 3 great children age 14 13 and 8.about 3 months ago things changed he was in a show and got shown loads of attention by woman since then he has been going out every friday and saturday sometimes not comming home until morning.he hides his mobile and keeps it on silent i have questioned him and asked if he is seeing anyone else to that he says no i just dont want to have to answer to anyone i want to be able to go where i want when i want without having to report to someone he said he would move out but now says he cant afford to as he wants to carry on paying everything like normal.but it is making me ill and confused as he still sleeps in my bed with me and kisses me bye still (sometimes) his mood changes all the time we have had problems in the past and i thought that we both knew that the grass isnt greener and that we had over c ome all our ghosts of the past.i would like to know what i can do should i move out and let him have it all but i love my children i know he would see them ok but im so confused i dont know what to do for the best.i know that he needs to leave really but what can i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ke11y1 +, writes (5 August 2006):
 I know little about children, mortage, or your financle situation... but I will say as a child who saw my mom go to almost the exact situation you know it's over and it's only a matter of time at this point. It's going to be one of the hardest situations of your life, finacially and emotionally. It is not healthy on your children to see this as I believe children always know. Especially if you have girls you need to set an example for your children and get out. First and for most let him know that this behavior is not going to be tolorated by you and one of you will eventually leave. Try to convince him to leave or you could hope he finds someone else and then decides to leave. I would secretly start to make plans to move on and get your wheels turning if the time comes and your position is set up for you to leave and he is still showing no signs of leaving then you should just go and try to work something out where you two can spli your assets.
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