A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:A love from 40 years ago contacted me on my birthday via e-mail. We have been sending e mails back and forth for a week. Now I am dying to call him but I am afraid because I am with a relationship. He is married. We went separate ways because although he was in love with me he married a girl his mother liked. He promised her he would marry her before she died. She died of cancer. I was heart broken the day he got married. He confessed to me that after all these years he never forgot me. Should I stop the communication or should I call him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 August 2016):
 Cut it off. No more communications. Don't live in the past and play with people's feelings and fantasies.
He is married and NOT looking to rekindle the past, he is just unhappy and bored and figured YOU would "entertain" him a bit.
OR are you willing to END your current relationship over a guy you REALLY don't know? You knew him 40 years ago, when he was a VERY different guy.
A
female
reader, anonem +, writes (22 August 2016):
 Yes, please stop calling him. Don't be a second wheel.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 August 2016):
 Stop the communication. It is flattering to hear that you have been missed and remembered for all these years ( supposing it's true, - which is not a given.... ) but, mother or no mother, whether he likes his wife or not, he is still married and still with her . It's never such a good idea to go sniffing around married men, and even less when you are a mature lady . How many chances are there in your opinion, that he would leave a 40 ( ! ) years marriage to offer you a serious relatioship ?...Maybe you have more chances to beat Trump and Clinton in the next presidential election, and become the new USA president.
If you just want a fling, a little romance, some exciting novelty... well, first of all , actually you should do the right thing and end your current relationship, if you are so bored and unfulfilled with it- but in any case , whether you are looking for love or just for fun, common sense still says the same : stick to single, widowed, divorced men...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2016): Hello,, You should stop communicating with him , as this might lead to problems and jepordize your marriage..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2016): Stop the communication. I don't have to tell you why I think that. You know, otherwise you wouldn't be here, you would have called him.
On the other hand, the fact that his call meant so much to you that you remained in contact speaks volumes on how you feel about in this relationship you're in. There's obviously something missing. What are you missing?
For whatever reason he made his choice and it wasn't you. You had a life after him. He wasn't there for you. And now when he felt like it (it took him 40 years!) he pulls the string and there you are.
Don't let him feed on your positive energy and affection. You don't dump someone you love.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (22 August 2016):
 You should stop all communications. That is all in the past and the reason it never worked out is because he never wanted you. An alleged promise to his mother outweighed any love that he professed for you? That love must have been shallow, my dear lady. He may have been your love, but from the looks of it, you sure wasn't his, otherwise he'd marry you.
So now he sneaks back in looking for what? He never wanted you when it mattered, so what does he want out of you now? A married man seeking out his old squeeze that was never good enough to marry? Not only do I find his rapprochement with you suspicious, but I also suspect he is after more.
You also have nothing to gain. The only thing he can do to you is ruin your relationship with your current man by fueling false hope of rekindling the past. He isn't your future, and that was clear 40 years ago, so why bring in ruin to yourself once again.
Do not allow your curiosity about him to sucker you into something that you know you will regret. Go no contact ASAP, and be sure you don't announce the no contact not explain to him why you are doing it.
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