A
male
age
36-40,
*hilipITM86
writes:I allready made a post about this a few days ago but i thought id do a diffrent one. Anyway so my long distance girlfriend in Chicago basically blew up on me a week in a half ago. She pretty much broke up with me via txt. I didnt talk to her for a few days. I was gonna wait till this weekend to contact her cause i honestly thought she just needed space and time to herself since she has a lotta stressful stuff goin on. Well she messaged me in fb and apoligized for blowing up on me and dumping me via txt and says that shes going through a lotta issues right now and that she think id be better off without her right now. We have been together for a year now and i was gonna be movin up there in 2 months. Its not like we havent spent time with eachother before. Ive been upbthere 5 times and she has been here once. Granted she is an assistant manager at a retail store and its hard for het to get time off and save money like i can. Anyway she says shes sorry thag she wasted a year of my life and hopes we can remain friends. I know she has very low self esteem about herself cause of her weight. She's heavy set but i've always told her that i Love her for who she is on the inside which is true. I fell in love with her for her personality. I always told her i Love her for her and not for how much she weighs or doesnt weigh. We have such a unique love for eachother. It just dont get it cause we get along so well and barely ever get into arguements. Sure we had a few dissagreements here and there but nothing major. We had a amazing relashonship. I get that she has her self esteem issues and i told her i will help her thru those..thats what a good bf does. But she says she doesnt wanna drag me down her downward spiral. Shes also worried im just moving there for her and not myself. She doesnt want me there just for her. I told her many times im moving there not just for her but me. Ive been wanting to leave fl forever and i finally found a place i love. When we talked last night i tried fighting for our relashonship but she said its just hard cause of everything shes goin through and the long distance too. I told her why end something that has been so good to us both. She said she just needs time to herself to fix all these issues she has. She said once im actually moved up there we can revisit what we had and get back together. She said its not gonna happen overnight but if it happens than its gonna happen. I kinda think since shes had a few asshole bfs in the past and relashonships that didnt last but a few months that im the 1st guy who actually loved her for her and apprciated her. I dont know if shes so used to guys leaving her that she thinks ending our relshonship is the norm for her. But its not normal. Its like shes to wrapped up in her self defeat attitude that she cant see that she actually has a guy that really loves her and care about her. Its a rare thing for her to have somebody like me cause most guys would have left her a few months into the relashonship since she overweight and wants to wait to have sex till marriage which i never had a issue with. I never once tried to talk her into having sex. I mean yeah we did get intimate with eachother and did stuff but not sex. I always respected her decsion to wait. Anway she says she wants us to still be friends cause she still wants me in her life. She says she is still gonna help me find a place when i move there and we will still hang out and do stuff. My only concern is i dont wanna just stay friends. Once i move there i hope we rekindle what we had cause i really Love her. I know she has feelings for me too. But again she says she just needs time to herself to fix all her issues. Im just wondering is staying friends for now a good thing and will it help us get back together once i move there soon? Some help would be greatly apperciated. Thank you.
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reader, PhilipITM86 +, writes (10 June 2012):
PhilipITM86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell she did say when we talked a few days ago that for now we are on a break but its not out if the question that we could get back together once im moved there. She said its possible. Or anthing is possible as she said. I just dont wanna come off looking needy or desperate when i bring us getting back together when we talk on the phone in the next few days. Thats why im wondering if i shouldnt bring it up anymore cause it could drive her further away from me. It's just driving me nuts and stressing me out that we cant just be together righy now! I wanna be there for her during these issues that shes going through right now. I just dont wanna become one of her many guy friends or one of her many ex boyfriends who shes still friends with. Everybody i talk to says it might not be a good idea to fly up there cause it can stress her out and get her upset. Im gonna talk to her about flying out there in 2 weeks and see if she would be ok with that. I mean i know she is prob gonna be working the two days that ill be there but i think it might help if we actually saw eachother. Afterall she did say the Long Distance is also a part of the reason we are on a break right now. Since me being sooo far away from her is getting hard. I dont understand why she cant just bear with me for two more months since ill be moved up there then. This is a tough situation cause i really do wanna see her but at the same time i gotta save up every penny i have for my move there. I can afford the plane tix. They arent gonna be to pricy but its still money i gotta shell out. But like i said im gonna ask her how she feels if i were to come see her so we can talk.
A
male
reader, PhilipITM86 +, writes (9 June 2012):
PhilipITM86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI also think its a good idea that i should fly up there and talk about this with her face to face. Maybe that can convince her that we dont need to be on a break. I have two days off of work back to back so that seems like the perfect time to fly up there. Granted it will be in 2 weeks. But i think its a good idea for us to see eachother.
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A
male
reader, PhilipITM86 +, writes (9 June 2012):
PhilipITM86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI highly doubt she sees me as a brother. We talked yesterday and she does still have feelings for me butbshe says she just doesnt wanna hurt me with how emotinal she can be sometimes. She said once im there in 2 months we will get back together. The long distance is just hard for her right now on to of her depression isssues. Im gonna try to convince her that us being together during this is better than just being on a break. I think she just needs time to herself right now. We arent gonna talk everyday like we usually do. Its only gonna be like twice a week. I just think we will get back together once im there.
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