A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.I have moved to another country which is very far from my gf. It isn't permanent but will for a long time due to work.We keep in touch by chatting and phone.Recently, she is having problem with her work. There are people keep giving her hard time. Sort of harassment.When I called her, she barely has things to say to me. When she does, it is about her problem. I feel horrible that I don't know what to say to her.I want to comfort her but I don't know how. So the phone call end up with a lot of silent moment and she sighs a lot.I guess that is a sign she is tired talking to me because I can't help at all.What should I do? I am thinking not to call her often, to give her more time.Thanks
View related questions:
at work, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): I asked about her problem before. She told me she doesn't feel like want to tell me because there isn't anything I can do to help her.
She also said she is frustrated just to talk to me.
I don't know what else I can do to help her. When I tried to cheer her up, she usually end up more frustrated.
Instead of she sigh a lot in the phone call, that is why I think I better call her less.
Thanks for the advices. I will call her again days later.
A
female
reader, Lina319 +, writes (4 May 2009):
 I think the worst thing you can do is not call her. Think about it, your many many miles away, so you cant physically comfort her. The only way of communicating you two have is thru the phone, by leaving her alone, you might just make her even more so depressed. She might just be depressed about more than just work. Maybe she feels lonely, and sad without you as well. The best way to help her is to listen to her. Ask her as many questions as you can. Put an effort into finding out how she is coping with her co-workers. If she remains quiet on the phone, and still doesn't respond, then talk to her about that. Calmly and gently tell her that you care about her and you want to help, but to do that you need her to participate in the conversation. Relationships are a two way street. Both parties have to engage, and work as a team to find solutions. Be as supportive as you can for the time being, she needs you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): I don't understand what calling her less would accomplish...it seems to me that she needs to vent to you.
When you talk to her, try to redirect the conversation by saying something like..."I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I love you so much and can't stand to see you hurting!" Once that is said...talk about your future together...your day...a funny story...Make Her Laugh! Laughter is a cure-all! (in my opinion anyway!)
Just let her know you understand! And that you will always be there for her!
...............................
|
