| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: help! my long distance girl wont commit to me, we act and do everything a couple do in a long distance relationship but she wont take that extra step and put a label on us! Her reasons are...shes scared of heartbreak and she does not want me to make a fool out of her! :( the thing is i dont understand because She talks about our future, marriage kids etc but right now she said she wont commit. what should i do? Do i trust her and continue this or move on? She is 18 i am 24... We have been non exclusive LDR for 1 year but we were close friends before this for 5 years. what should i do or say?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, blahblah666  +, writes (1 May 2009):
 ok well i am 16 so i know im young but ive been in a LDR before and i will tell you something.
my boyfriend seemed commited to me, we lived 500km away from eachother and were together LD 12 months. After we broke up over the phone, he told me he had been screwing my friend for over 6 months. Well she wasnt my friend she was a former friend and she was the biggest slut in town. After breaking up with him i stayed single for about a year or so and then met the guy im with now who lives with me. i am pregnant with his baby and i just found out i had chlamydia. whether or not i caught it off my ex i dont know but i have my suspicions. im not a slut and have only had 3 sexual partners in my life my current boyfriend has had 2. now whether or not shes cheasting nobody would know, but i will tell you they dont last. they take a lot of work but in the end they dont last especailly seeing as you are already experiencing trouble.
A
male
reader, Who  +, writes (29 April 2009):
 Well, on the one hand;
"Do i trust her and continue this or move on?"
Trust is an important part of a commitment. If you love this woman, want to commit to her, and she is truly that one for you, you should trust her automatically.
But on the other hand;
“We have been non exclusive LDR for 1 year”
Does not compute. “commit” and “non exclusive” do not go together. You should not expect commitment until you can get the “non exclusive” part to go away. And I’m thinking you are not going get that until you get the “LD” part of “LDR” to go away.
Good luck and sorry I could not be more helpful.
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