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My long distance boyfriend is mean to me online but affectionate to me in person! Why is this?

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 July 2007)
A female Canada, anonymous writes:

Fun with long distance!

Why is my boyfriend all snuggly and affectionate whenever I visit him, but a bit of a meany online?

I fell in love with my boyfriend online, though he wasn't very attractive in photos, because I liked his intellect.

We met in person, and not only did he turn out to be more attractive then I thought he'd be, but much nicer and more considerate. As in the perfect gentleman, who dotes and looks after me, and pretty much treats me like a princess. Every meeting since then, he's sentimental and charming. It’s stunning and he’s amazing to be around.

Yet online, he's still the same reserved, arrogant genius. There are occasionally cracks in his mask and the nice guy shows through, but it’s very confusing. It’s like I’m dating two different people, one of whom is a bit of a jerk and the other is a bit of a sop. I like them both, but I’m wondering… If I move in with my boyfriend would the two personalities eventually end up merging? Or would I end up with Mr. Nice full time? Or Mr. Meany? I think I could live with any combination, but can anyone explain why this happens?

View related questions: fell in love, long distance

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A female reader, culturelost Brazil +, writes (9 July 2007):

Hi,

I guess I´m on the same situation that you are... I´m on a long distance relationship with a guy I´ve first met online and than in person. We we are togheter, is wonderful. But when we talk online he seems to be away, take ages to answer my emails. Sometimes he is dry, and when I think he had lost interest, he start to writes about how my life is, work, what I´ve been doing for fun. I like him very much, but I´m not sure how to make him more present, even on eletronic ways...

good luck!

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A male reader, Helfer United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2007):

Helfer agony auntBeing a little bit mean to the one you love makes it that bit more exciting.

If you don't both have a childish quibble every now and again then you can both take things too seriously.

I'm always mean to my gf online, and she the same to me, but when we see each other it's totally different.

I'd probably say you'd get a bit of both if you were to live together.

Whenever I spend the night with my gf, we'll be mean to each other and pretend to sulk...but then always come back for a cuddle afterwards.

:)

I think you'd end up with Mr. Nice most of the time...but Meany would make the odd appearance.

^.^

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