A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My little sister is 11 years old and i am 15. We are very close.Two years ago mum had an affair and she and our dad got a divorce so now we live with our dad, however, before the divorce we were a really close family and my sister just wants it to be like that again.Whenever mum visits she goes on about her boyfriend and is annoying in general, and when she leaves my sister goes upstairs and cries bcause she won't get her perfect family back.Yesterday mum announced her wedding and my sister has been in her room crying ever since.She made me swear not to tell mum and dad only knows some of it and i can't tell him anymore.I hate seeing my little sister like this and i hate mum for upsetting her so much.I was my sisters age before and i know it is hard anyway so what can i do for her?
View related questions:
affair, divorce, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks.
mum treats us like we are her age and we are her friends not her daughters.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): hey big sis
you should be so proud of yourself. wish more big sis help out. the aunts have given you excellent advice.
i agree your mum is an insensitive cad. somehow you need to step in and do the "parenting' bec your mum is not.this is a lot to ask but in many homes today siblings are taking on the parenting. your little sis is so priviledged to have a sister like you.
perhaps one day you may have a talk with your mum and tell her what a cow she has been, putting her interest forst and not bothering about her daughters. your mother needs her head read!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all soooo much
i will try them tomorrow. she is still worrying about the wedding and i need some stuff to say to her on that day
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): I'm sorry to hear you have to deal with this situation and your mum being insensitive. First of all I think its important that you reassure your sister that the two of you will be best friends forever no matter what - make some sort of pact to always be there for each other when the other needs it. She is probably feeling very insecure and abandonned by your mum so its important to let her know that sisters will stay best friends and care always :) me and my little sister are grown up with our own families but we still talk every day and very close.
Could you try to do some activities together with her too - even have one day a week that is sister day and go to the cinema, do your nails etc (whatever you both like to do - or what she likes to do that you can put up with :) together?
Also I would talk to your Dad but if its awkward you could just say that you and your sister are both missing some of the family things, and maybe you could all make an effort to have family dinner time together, some family outings, also if you have grandparents, cousins etc perhaps including more visits with them so your sis feels her circle is bigger not smaller now your mum is gone?
Does your mum have any sister/brother or her own mum who you'd feel able to talk to? You could say you're both a bit overwhelmed with the speed of change etc and maybe they'd be able to get your mum to be a bit more sensitive.
Just reassure and show your sister however you can that you two have your own special family bond, and she should start feeling more secure and happy in time. Take care :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): Well you're sister said that she wants a close family, but since probaly wont get it I suggest you trying to talk to her. She needs somone to talk to and to know that she isnt all alone. You sound like a great older sister and let her know that she can come to you whenever she wants. I wish you and you're sister the very best.:]
...............................
|
