A
female
age
30-35,
*P1993
writes:This is a relationship question about me and my mother. My parents got divorced when i was 10 and i blame my mother because she had an affair, with the guy she's now with. They have a daughter, Grace, who's 4. I live with my father as my mother's boyfriend says he hates me and wants me no where near the house or his child. I see Grace about once every two months, only when i go to visit my nan. I saw Grace today and she asked me for my name and when i told her i was her sister she didn't beleive me and went really funny and off with me. I love her to pieces, she's my baby sister, and it broke my heart to hear her say that. Now i don't know what to do. I never get to see her and i know she's going to grow up and not know who i am. To top it off my mother's having another baby with her boyfriend and i know the same thing's going to happen again.Could anyone please give me advise? I don't know what to do. I want a real relationship with my mother and my sister but i don't see it ever happening and it scares me.Any advise will do. Thanks guys x
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female
reader, HP1993 +, writes (20 April 2010):
HP1993 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I have asked my mum so many times, but i don't like pushing her because when i do she ends up arguing with her boyfriend and i hate seeing her unhappy.
She is certainly controlled by him though. She's asked him why he hates me and he said 'because he just does.' and she's asked if i could visit her and Grace when he's not in the house but he won't have it. He won't even let my mum put a picture of me in the house because it angers him apparently.
It was my decision to live with my father, but mainly because i couldn't stand to live there anymore.
I just don't know what to do. My mum hasn't been there for me at all over the past 6 years but at the end of the day, she's my mum.
Thanks for the advise so far guys x
A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (16 April 2010):
 Who's decision was it for you to live with your dad? Your mum's? Your's? Your dad's?
I suppose in a way it almost doesn't matter. What does your mum say about her boyfriend not wanting you around their house? I think she's letting him control her because if she wanted you to come around their house and see your sister she would be able to come up with an agreement with him...
I tried to think of a few ways around this... But tbh, I can't think of anything that makes your mum look good. I don't even know her and I can already tell you that I don't like her. It's hard to say but I honestly think you're better off without any of them. I mean come on, what mother in the world, who truly loves her child, would not fight for her to be able to live at that house, or at the very least be able to come and see her whenever she wants?
Your situation sounds fairly familiar though. My sister's dad had another daughter after our mum split up with them.. He has never cared for my sister, and as for his other daughter, well her and my sister know of each other, but don't have any contact. She doesn't even have any contact with her dad...
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