A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have just turned 30, and that has caused me to evaluate what I should or should not have acquired/achieved by this age. And my self analysis looks pretty discouraging:Dead-end part-time job with no health benefits ,and no PTOI have just graduated with a Bachelor's in a promising field (albeit later than most of my peers) but have been left with a huge amount of student loan debt-I want to go for a Masters but is the additional debt really worth it?I have no 401k and no savings, just a handsome, wealthy, older boyfriend who has given me his debit card indefinitely until I find the job of my dreams. Sure he helps me out but I feel crappy about it because I'm not a gold-digger by nature.Above mentioned boyfriend (we have been dating for five years) has been known to bring up and look at engagement rings but is constantly busy with simultaneous major building projects.Above mentioned boyfriend is taking a hair-loss supplement so his libido is very low at the moment(he is on the other hand very loyal, but I'm so frustrated) Also I want to get married and have a baby...I really want a baby but can I even talk of it now? I'm definitely no financial-match to my boyfriend (I always make the self-deprecating joke that he's a tiger, and I'm a chihuahua) though he laughs and tells me not to worry, and that he loves me no matter what, etc.Where do I go from here? Is my life really that bad? Sure feels like it. I'm pretty unhappy and depressed, actually. Please advise, thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2017): You clearly sound depressed and depression often makes little rhyme or sense . In fact , even those who outwardly appear to have 'the world at their feet ' can be depressed so please don't feel guilted into having your feelings invalidated I would strongly recommend you seek the help of a sensitive and knowledgable therapist to explore why you feel inadequate despite your achievements and to perhaps look at the underlying dynamics of your relationship with this man and how that might be impacting your sense of self realisation and independence. There is likely a lot to be learned in exploring what emotional needs you feel you would be meeting by becoming a mother at this point in time. It seems that it could be well worth your while exploring these issues before strengthening your ties to him by having a baby .All the best , life is a journey . Never let anybody tell you that your life is 'too good ' to feel what you feel . Feelings are not conditional, they are ALL valid
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2017): Why not try to find a job in the field of your degree and get a couple of years experience under your belt. Then maybe you could fit the masters around having a baby as this is something you could do while on maternity leave. I would say that doing a masters is probably worth it (although this obviously depends on your discipline but certainly if it is a science degree then it would be worth your while) but it's not something you need to do immediately. Your life really doesn't sound too bad. Does your partner really need to take the hair loss supplements? They're probably not doing him any good. Plenty of guys look good with a shaved head.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2017): Why not try to find a job in the field of your degree and get a couple of years experience under your belt. Then maybe you could fit the masters around having a baby as this is something you could do while on maternity leave. I would say that doing a masters is probably worth it (although this obviously depends on your discipline but certainly if it is a science degree then it would be worth your while) but it's not something you need to do immediately.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (6 January 2017):
 "just a handsome, wealthy, older boyfriend who has given me his debit card indefinitely until I find the job of my dreams. Sure he helps me out but I feel crappy about it because I'm not a gold-digger by nature."
That statement above vs...
"Is my life really that bad?"
Have you lost your mind???
You are healthy, Bachelor's degree, a five year relationship, and man who stands by you, and is willing to help you get on your feet to start a new successful life...and what thanks you give???
"I'm pretty unhappy and depressed!!!"
You do realise that you could have a high school education, a dead end job, a dead beat boyfriend, no savings, four kids, suffering from some kind of sickness...cancer...or one of the many others...and no one to help you...RIGHT!!!
Yeah, and you complain because life has given a sh*t load kindness that you take for granted.
Keep feeling bad and depressed. Stay in your dead end job while you look at your life pass you by. Do nothing...let's where you end up then.
"Some people are to lazy to put food in their own mouth"
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (6 January 2017):
 Are you looking for work related to your degree? You should be proud of yourself for achieving that, by the way. You have a boyfriend that is happy to support you - why can't you view that as a positive thing in your life? Have you told him that you're frustrated? Is having hair more important to him than his libido - have your asked him about that? Are you unhappy being with him? If you don't love him, you should leave him. If you do love him, why can't you have a baby with him now - if he wants the same thing?
Lots of people freak out turning 30. Really it's just a number - you've a long way to go.
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