A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My sexual libido has gone. ive been with my bf for over 2 years now and recently moved in with him.I ve also put on weight so i dont feel sexy anymore or comfortable in his presence (i dont even like getting changed infront of him). now ive found loads of porn on his computer which shows positions and blow jobs that i know he misses. This mnakes me feel inadequate and also threatened.i dont know what to do as i love him and i know hes not doing wrong, but i cant help getting upset with myself about this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): Look, if you have tried talking to him about it, and he still isn't considerate of your needs/wants, and despite your 'love' for him, you can't stay like this forever. The next healthiest thing for you to do is get out of this relationship, no matter how much it can hurt initially. Leave the guy to his porn and find your own life, possibly with someone who will take care of your needs/wants.
A
female
reader, Nikita +, writes (24 January 2007):
 Hi there, Of course you cant help feeling upset. You're low because of your weight gain and the fact he's turned to plastic women to get his pleasure. The fact of the matter is, he probably didnt even notice that you've put on a bit of weight and its probably not an issue with him. His looking at porn is not a reflection on the way you look. Its just sexual relief and I know thats not much comfort to you when you feel this way but its true. I imagine there are a lot of women who can relate to you, me included because none of us are perfect and completely happy with our bodies and when we're at our most vulnerable, naked, then we try and hide the bits that we hate but more often than not the bloke is too busy gazing at your best bits then worrying about your not so good bits! You need to take the pressure off yourself and stop being so hard on your body. Narrow down the possibilities as to why your libido is gone. Apart from the weight gain, is it stress, or are other things not completely right in your relationship? Do things that make you feel attractive. Get your hair done, buy a new outfit and if your're really concerned about the weight gain, buy an execise dvd. There's plenty to choose from. Also talk with your bf. Tell him you're feeling a bit low and need a night out together. A romantic dinner would be a good start. Please dont feel too bad about your body. Its probably not as bad as you think and if your bf loves you, he wont mind that extra little bit more. Good luck okay and let me know how it goes.x
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