A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a pickle. I'm married, but have been texting and seeing this bloke for 20 months, the relationship was slowing down, so I sent him a letter, unfortunately it was opened by the wife he had "forgotten" to mention, and all hell broke loose! Wife is mad, husband depressed and full of demons and I'm feeling utterly let down and full of guilt and totally confused coz I still want to stay with my husband, but I've also still got some very strong feelings for "the other man" in my life. How do I move on?
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female
reader, illbethere +, writes (10 March 2008):
right OK here it is wife add hubby add wife add hubby come on you need to move on let this man and hes wife sort out there marriage and you sort yours i could be all Nice to you and skip around it but whats the point you have to stay faithfull more and more people are cheating on there loved ones why why is what you gotta ask your self you need to sit down with your hubby and sort your problems out don't be the reason this man and wife break up take that weight away from your shoulders be a better person than that
remember you may have just been a passing ego trip to this mans problems with his wife.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (6 March 2008):
 you feel let down? well in all fairness - you were having an affair! if you are married then wats to say he wasnt you know? you have to admit that wat you did was wrong and hurtful to your husband. this other man has only done wat you have done, so you cant really condemn him for it! i think that you should concentrate on your marriage - only if you want to of course, but i think that you do love him so stay with him! forget about this other man and leave him to make his own decisions. in all fairness - how would you like it if you found out your husband was cheating? not very happy i would imagine. now, whether to tell your hubby or not is up to you - i probably wouldnt though - you could lose everything. i think that you should just love and support him like he is doing with you, and pray that your life with him is rewarding and loving. email me if you want, good luck!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Once you went down the road of cheating and having an affair you were like a cucumber that became a pickle....and once you are a pickle you can never be a cucumber again!
Pick up your shattered marriage, ask for forgiveness, do the work and get some help for what was not working in you to seek an affair outside of your marriage....what more can you do, the affair was a fantasy, a dead end thing, a relationship that had no where to grow....relationships either grow like cucumbers before they become pickles or they die......Hope you liked my analogies....lol.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Your probably need to go back to the beginning of the affair to remember what you said to yourself at that time to justify being an unfaithful partner.
Your confusion is because you thought the relationship between you and him was going to be a secret and now it is not and you don't know now what you are going to say to your husband when he finds out.
Your feelings of guilt are totally normal and will continue probably for perhaps most of your life, deal with that perhaps with some counselling.
You have absolutely NO right, reason or justification for feeling let down. No one has let you down other than yourself. Again I think couselling on your ability to be disfunctional should be addressed!
I think it may be time for your to take a peek at all the charateristic people have, who engage in deceipt and betrayal. There are some terribly obvious common elements or disfunctional charachteristics which you guys all seem to have in common. It becomes clearer when researching and even participating in a site like this one.
So your knowledge now is that there is something wrong with you. Your panic at the moment is because you didn't want to face it and take a look at yourself closely. I would suspect if my answer has bothered you, then this would prove I am correct in my asumptions.
You have some serious work to do in saving or avoiding lossing the existance you have which was the only reliable thing you had!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Decide to. You have a choice; your husband or nobody. The other man is not available. He probably does this lots, so I hope you used protection. Feel the scorch and don't do this again. How would you like it? This is all within you power to address, you are not a powerless fool, you decide what happens in your life. His poor wife too, be glad it is not you feeling what she does. You can do it, focus on the one who has earned your loyalty. He deserves it.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (6 March 2008):
 How do you move on?
By forgetting about the married guy and concentrating on your hubby.
Nothing majorly rocket science there.
What you feel about being let down by the married guy, is nothing different, to what your hubby will feel when it comes out to him. People always get found out dont they.
Cant say anymore than that really.
If you both wanted to really be together, you wouldn't still be with your other halves.
Its going nowhere basically.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (6 March 2008):
 HEY!!
You have got to admit that you did the rong by having this fling with another man, and he has only done to you what you have done to your husband etc. Forget about everyone else and focus on your marriage (if you want to like you said)..
GOOD LUCK!! Feel free to mail me at any time x x x
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