A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 32 yr old lesbian, and i've been living with my partner for 4 yrs. We are 12 yrs apart, she is older.My question is; my partner has no sex drive, what can i do??
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female
reader, lez_girl87 +, writes (8 April 2009):
okay there is something id like to say. in most cases women expect for all lesbians to have a high sex drive..no no no women are women some are not so big on sex especially if its same o same week after week or whenever. maybe you should try new things if that don't work maybe she is emotional disconnected and don't know how to say it. in this case this relationship is over on your behalf so do what you feel!!!because once the sex isnt there the love seem lost... dont put pressure on yourself because you love her, you love you also, so do me a fave and make yourself happy!!! xoxo.charm.
A
female
reader, louandjo  +, writes (3 March 2009):
hi
i have been with my girl for 7years and yes the sex life is a bit slow, i love sex lol and my girl dont think much to sex at all, its like this if u love her put up with it, if not go out and find some one new that likes sex or gives you what u want, live your life for you louise
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): I totally relate to this, only my partner and I are 2 years apart (she's 30 and i'm 32). We have NO sex life, and the sex we have had leaves much to be desired. I miss great sex, I miss mediocre sex... I just miss being in love with someone that also loves having sex. It's not fair. I have no idea how someone cannot want to have sex. I had an affair once because I couldn't take it anymore. We had the best sex shortly after that, and now that I am all back and reeled in we are back to nothing whatsoever. I wish I had solutions, I feel like checking out of my relationship because I cannot stand how long it's been. We've been together 3 years, and I feel like I should star on Donna Reid... The hot steamy sex days I once had are like a far distance memory... --- very frustrated...
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A
female
reader, SereneGal476 +, writes (23 September 2008):
 Well, there are a lot of things that can come into play. She could be tired or sleepy or just not in the mood. Also, when women are nearing menopause, their sex drives can make complete 180s. Not saying that this is the case, but I am just giving you a few ideas. Why not trying something new or something you don't do as often. Mutual masturbation? Just cuddling for a while? Or ask her what she wants.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (23 September 2008):
 Well, a whole host of suggestions spring to mind, the main one being find someone different who does have a sex drive. But of course if you love her you won't want to do that, probably. I wasted 7 years of my life on an unsuitable older partner (a man), and although I did love him, it was not a well-matched relationship. If you're not getting what you sensibly need from this relationship, personally I would end it.
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