My Lesbian Girlfriend is as Nice as the Grinch

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Pretty as a princess with the heart of Gargamel (the creepy old mean guy from The Smurfs). I love my girlfriend but she's incredibly mean. We are in a long distance relationship so we actually only get together every 2-3 months. However we talk 6-7 days a week at least one phone call most last for an hour. And we text constantly. Our relationship is 15 months old. Thing is I get ultra excited each morning bc I look forward to texting her and if I'm really really lucky she'll text me back. N I awake at 530am for work so at that time I text her. Unfortunately a lot of times I get no response or if I do get a response she'll tell me I have to eat her out for waking her, pardon the graphic language. It saddens me when she say something like that especially when I sent her a very caring loving n romantic text n all I get back is something sex related. But I love her so much I let it go. Today I awake really early to do laundry and grocery shop around 6am. When I returned around 8am I took a nap. My girlfriend knows my Saturday routine so she knew I had just got back n was napping. So she texted me today "wake up". Then she sent it again like 5minutes later, at which time I got up to text her back. I texted her I'm up now but I'm so tired. Then she texted k, now go back to bed. It hurted that I woke up for her n she could be so mean n bossy towards me. When I text her early or call her early she don't respond bc she doesn't feel like it, that's what she told me. N when she's ready to talk to me she calls or text. Sad thing is regardless of whether I feel like being bothered or not I answer her calls n text. She'll be very upset if I don't and then she would accuse me of cheating bc its not like me. She's just mean. N she's very private. It hurts me a lot bc I'm like how can u say u love me more than life but can be so mean n controlling towards me without regard to my feelings. She act as though she is way sexier than I am which even on my worst days is completely far from the truth. Not to sound conceited but I'm Damn beautiful. N at times I have to remind her of it and who I could have in milliseconds. I avoid bringing that up bc when ur in love u don't want to hurt ur partner. But this partner of mine only learns by hurt and unfortunately the only way to get my way is by hurting her. When I'm loving respectful submissive I get walked on. I try to make her royalty to be my Queen but her ways are not the ways that I would want having power. It gets old. I'm there for her supportive, loving, giving, listening...you name it. She's there for me but she's very mean. N I get tired of being disrespected. She only listens when my words are like an iron clad rod across her. I like being civil and I like to praise and spoil the one I love. Ironically when I diss her and pay her no mind she's at my side like a royal servant waiting for my next command. I'm not sure what's the issue with her personality. She is very aggressive but she responds to me most when I'm aggressive. She says I should take charge of the relationship, well she used to say that until I took charge n she couldn't play by my rules n it hurted her but she tried to say it didn't. But since then she never once said again well why don't u take charge over the relationship. N this was several months ago. How do I get balance in this relationship???

View related questions: lesbian, long distance, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 October 2011):

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