A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've tried to break up and stop communicating with my 4 yrs long distance relationship.. but lately its so hard for me to realized that were over and I tried to win him back by saying stuff like we could work things out and he said "yes,let's try work things out" but I noticed its not the same the way he used to be with me anymore.. I asked many times if everything ok? he just said.. he's just tired etc. does he still love me like he used to be?or totally got fed up with me breaking up with him? will this stay like this til I get fed up also or it'll take time for him to get over it??
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): I have a long distance boyfriend, and the first time we were together, I broke up with him and I actually lost contact with him for a while. When I contacted him again and we ended up back together, he was extremely guarded and it took a lot of hard work on my part to prove to him I was serious and was not going to break up with him again. I explained to him my reasons for breaking up with him the first time, and I apologised and allowed him the time to be guarded, even though it was extremely hard on me at first to feel as though I was the one mnaking all the effort. He can still be guarded at times, but it has been 8 months and things are fantastic, our relationship is strong and he has seen that I am not going anywhere. Long distance is extremely hard, but that means that if you love each other and want it to work you have to work harder to make it work, and not give up when it gets hard or too frustrating. It won't be the same as it was before, you hurt him by breaking up with him, and he isn't sure that he can trust you aren'y going to do it again soon when things get tough. The one thing that made me stick it out when I was going through the 'proving' stage was to keep telling myself if I gave up this time I wouldn't get another chance with him, and since I didn't want to lose him, I stuck it out and I am so glad I did. Good Luck with it.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 well I cant tell you if he still loves you the same way. You need to ask yourself why you kept breaking up with him, obviously you have your reasons for doing this, you need to explain to him why you done this. Are the issues resolved? Because if they are not well then the relationship will not work unless you are sure that the reasons you broke up with him have been dealt with. He is probably being distant because he is hurting. It would have hurt him to have you break up with him, so you need to make him see now that you really want this and make it up to him. He is going to have his gaurd up for a while in case he gets hurt again.
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A
female
reader, sweetiebabes +, writes (8 October 2011):
 Hi there.
Don't put too much emotional pressures on him in time he will be fine.
He was hurt and picking up the pieces back again like the way you were before may take time. Give him time to communicate with his feelings and be patient.
Just be who you are like the way you started the relationship...the kind of woman he loves before.
You made a mistake and be sorry for breaking his heart.
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