A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Long story short: I'm in a LDR, we dont see each other often and I feel like he doesnt give me the time I need (on the phone, video chat etc) he's always tired from work or going out with friends. I tried and did my best to talk to him about that but he always finds excuses and I'm always the one who doesnt understand.. while I need to talk to him and he's not there for me so I started talkin to random strangers on the internet, and I met this awesome italian guy and he's perfect. I started chatting with him everyday but in my mind he was just a friend who's there for me whenever my bf isn't. And then time passes and I started having a crush on the sexy italian man who's so sweet and he told me yesterday that he started checkin up flights and prices to come to see me in my country! and he was really serious about it. What does it mean whenever I ask my bf to come see me knowin he's 500 km away from me in the same country, and he always says it's impossible it's so far a weekend wouldnt be enough ....etc, campared to a foreign guy who is already commited to me and is planing to come from all the way his country to mine for me, and he says that it's difficult but not impossible ! I hate myself for "cheating" like that, and lying to both of them. I did a mistake. People make mistakes. No need to tell me how stupid I was, I already am aware of all that. I only need some help, I'm confused because even if i love my bf and even if I know I'm being really bad to both of them I can't stop thinkin about Italian boy and dreaming about him. Help me!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 April 2012):
 Sounds to me like the boyfriend is NOT a boyfriend… just that it’s what’s currently CALLED the boyfriend. 500KM is about 310 miles… that’s about a 5 hour car drive maybe a bit more… it’s very doable for weekends… I was driving 2 hours one way every few days when in an LDR… including some work days… it’s hard to do an LDR… and the plan has to be to end the LDR…
I agree that it’s time to end it with the boyfriend but I don’t think that you should put your eggs into the Italian basket just yet.. checking air fares and talking about getting together is just that.. it’s TALK… international LDRs are harder than you can imagine and they are very very expensive… AND you have no guarantee that you guys are compatible in real life.
You are very young and you have your whole life ahead of you… tying yourself down to a man you have not yet met, who is so very far away does not sound like a plan to me. Sure, make plans to meet and get to know each other but don’t assume that it will work out with the Italian fellow and don’t cut yourself off from meeting local boys too.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 April 2012):
 Long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain because they require greater sacrifices than local ones and offer fewer rewards. Unless one or both parties have concrete plans to relocate there really isn't any point to them. Your 'boyfriend' has either lost interest in the relationship or he's taking you for granted. He had to know that the more time he spent away the more likely someone else would take his spot. So I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. Just save yourself the stress and officially end it with the him, but don't be too quick to jump into anything with the next guy (or anyone else). Single life is fantastic and shouldn't be given up too easily or for just anyone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2012): Go with the Italian man. By the sound of the other guy, hes either not commited to you or just plain lazy. Ditch him for the one who is willing to make the effort. If your meeting doesnt work out, either way youve got rid of and ldr bf who only cares for himself and doesnt consider you.
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