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female
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*onfussed jane
writes: What can I do? My fiance just told me he might have cancer not sure they are going to be doing more tests after new year, He had been feeling way he does for about 3 month now and hasnt went to see what was the matter. He said didnt want to wait being busy we have got distance you see so i asked him to goHe went on wednesday night and stayed in and never got back till yesterdat late. He hadnt text or phoned and when he did last night i started having a go because it ant like him not to text me and phone me.The problum is I live in scotland and he lives in england. We see each other every month or two for now we also talk on msn(web messenger)also keep in touch by phone. The only reason there is distance is because he got a good job and i got higher studies and a part time job, so at the moment it isnt a good time to move. Another problem is he is separated well going trough a divorce and has got kids. It isnt my fault they had split up long before i started getting involed with him. He still involed in the kids lives.I had been worried and had a go but i never new that he was at hospital til he said and when he told me he might have cancer, I wanted to cry and felt so bad for having a go for not keeping in touch. I didnt know what to say and it seemed like i wasnt interested but it was opposite. i love him so much and want to spend rest of my life with him.I dont want to lose him but I am scared I am going to. I dont know what to say to him, plus he isnt being himself and I dont want to seem selfish. I dont know anyone family or friends that had cancer or died from it, so dont know much.I am basically asking how can I help him from so far away.What if he has cancer? There so many what ifs, I just dont know what to do. I also dont have a clue what he is going through.I love him so much and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He is always there and very supportive, helpful and kind and you could say he is my prince charming and I dont want to lose him.PLEASE HELP ME
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): Why does he say this has been the worst ever year? Have you hurt him? It seems to me like he is lashing out at you. He could be trying to make you hate him, in the hope it will ease any pain if he does have cancer. This could be many things, but don't blame yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): Hi there
I think you just need to talk to him, let him know your concerns. He may say things because he is scared and in denial about his health. Just try to be as supportive as you can be. He is lucky to have somebody who cares about him so much.
I wish you both the very best.
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A
female
reader, confussed jane +, writes (30 December 2006):
confussed jane is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni am so scared.since he told me all i been doing is crying.
he says this year has been bad and worst ever and also says he hopes he has got cancer and dies.
that make me feel terrible i dont want to lose him.i dont no what i can do.am i being a bad fiancee and being total selfish.
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A
female
reader, XxXLoveAngelXxX +, writes (29 December 2006):
 Don't feel bad about this.. its not your fault. As soon as he finds out then I would recommend he gets treatment straight away. Theres not much you can do to help him, except making sure he gets treatment for this. Or maybe your boss would understand if you took some time off work to go see him in Scotland, and just be there to support him. If he gets the treatment straight away there would me a higher chance of curing the cancer. And there isn't nuch you can say to make him feel better, there never is in situations like this. I hope everything goes well for you x
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